June 18, 2011 at 3:09 pm #96421
WgreenParticipantJune 18, 2011 at 3:09 pmPost count: 445
I’m going to step out on a limb and make a prediction. But first, this back story:
Not long ago, the United States Supreme Court upheld a $1.5 million award against four Christian Scientists [who believe most, if not all, ailments can be cured by prayer]. The judgment stemmed from a lawsuit against the church members whose treatment of an 11-year-old diabetic boy precluded conventional medical care. The child, Ian Lundmann, died in May 1989 from complications of his diabetes.
Now the prediction: One day, some ADDer is going to run a red light, or forget to take some necessary medication for a serious condition, or somehow cause something bad to happen. It will turn out that the ADDer sought treatment for his/her disorder but was told by his/her doctor it didn’t exist. This will precipitate a lawsuit against the doctor. Expert witnesses will testify—voluminous documentation and brain scans in hand—and corroborate allegations of malpractice. The doctor is going to have to convince a jury that ADD/ADHD is a fiction, based on….. whatever s/he can come up with.
With the substantial research that already has been conducted and peer-reviewed, that doctor is going to have an uphill climb. As an attorney friend of mine likes to say, “It’ll be like throwing a signed, blank check out the car window in a Walmart parking lot.REPORT ABUSEJune 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm #96422
AnonymousInactiveJune 18, 2011 at 4:30 pmPost count: 14413
trashman – Sorry if I seemed to bash my docs. I know they are competent but its frustrating not to be able to have the help you need from the medical world. Take for example the neurologist; when I got on the waiting list to get one, I specified it was for ADD so why did they get me to see a neurologist who doesn’t know about it?! And now if I want to change, I’ll have to get back on that list and wait for months. And they’ll probably do the same mistake of getting me a doc who doesn’t know if I forget to specify that. The one I got right now is reputed to be an expert about migraines.
My general doctor is great too but she doesn’t believe in my ADD or anxiety, and I don’t feel like she believes me half the time anyway. I made the mistake of telling her once that I might be a little bit hypochondriac. I thought so then ’cause I knew something was wrong with me so when something came up that talked about symptoms I had, I thought that might be it. Then I found out about ADD and… bingo! The constant fatigue, the difficulty to focus, the lack of control over my emotions, etc it all fit in.
My psychotherapist is trying to help me but she mixes ADD and the issue. She would need to truly understand ADD to 1- not mistake a symptom for something else and 2- to know how to work with me (my lack of focus, short memory,…)REPORT ABUSEJune 18, 2011 at 7:51 pm #96423
ZitaMemberJune 18, 2011 at 7:51 pmPost count: 27
Wow Kazuo, good for you!! I’m 33 and just got diagnosed, and I too was labeled bipolar, and then told I had borderline personality disorder. I asked my dr. at the time about ADHD and he said he didn’t’ see any evidence of it. Finally I got a new family Dr, and asked for a referral to see a man named Dr.William Burnie, he basically described my life!! I’m currently on Adderall XR and doing 100% better!!
He filled me in on a little secret, when I told him who I was being treated by for my mental illness he informed me he was not qualified.
The dr. I was seeing was a GP, not a psychiatrist. He said he was not qualified to diagnose me, it turns out that about 10 years ago here in NS, (I’m not sure if it was done in any other province in Canada) that there were not enough psychiatrist so the government or the medical board or who ever let GP act as psychiatrists. I think it’s just plain wrong to referrer people who need a specialist to a GP, they don’t have the training needed to make a proper diagnoses, the result is people like me, a 33 year old married mother of 2, I was so over medicated I couldn’t get out of my own way. I couldn’t have a shower every day, I couldn’t clean my house, I couldn’t do my laundry. My children were living in filth…..it all could have been avoided had I see a Dr. who knew what he was doing. And you know I don’t even blame him per say, I blame who ever allowed GP to act as psychiatrist. I too want to go back to school, I want to so into social work, I don’t have 10 years to spend in university or the money, so community collage for me, and I really want to bring awareness to adult ADHD.REPORT ABUSEJune 19, 2011 at 3:38 pm #96424
WgreenParticipantJune 19, 2011 at 3:38 pmPost count: 445
In Babyanne’s first sentence, she said her doctor told her she had “perfectionism” (and anxiety). I had never heard “perfectionism” used to denote a personality disorder. I’ve heard people use it, somewhat disparagingly, to mean somebody spends too much time sweating unimportant details. But this remark made me curious. So… I looked it up. Turns out it’s considered an obsessive disorder—sometimes—with symptoms not dissimilar to some of those of ADD/ADHD. You guys should check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_(psychology)
I’m sure there are better sources of information online, but I was just looking for an overview.
“In its pathological form, perfectionism can be very damaging. It can take the form of procrastination when it is used to postpone tasks (“I can’t start my project until I know the ‘right’ way to do it.”), and self-deprecation when it is used to excuse poor performance or to seek sympathy and affirmation from other people (“I can’t believe I don’t know how to reach my own goals. I must be stupid; how else could I not be able to do this?”).[…]
In the workplace, perfectionism is often marked by low productivity as individuals lose time and energy on small irrelevant details of larger projects or mundane daily activities. This can lead to depression, alienated colleagues, and a greater risk of workplace “accidents.”REPORT ABUSEJune 19, 2011 at 4:22 pm #96425
AnonymousInactiveJune 19, 2011 at 4:22 pmPost count: 14413
Perfectionism also means that you are always beating yourself for “not getting things right.” I never considered myself a perfectionist, but I do know that I am so fearful of doing things “the wrong way” that I often find myself not doing anything at all. All I know is my fears pull me into a trap that sabotages my ability to work and ultimately costs me my job. Are there any solutions?REPORT ABUSEJune 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm #96426
WgreenParticipantJune 19, 2011 at 4:42 pmPost count: 445
Solutions to ANY neurological/psychological problem are way above my pay grade. You’ll have to ask the guys with MD after their names.REPORT ABUSEOctober 2, 2011 at 5:09 pm #96427
beebsterMemberOctober 2, 2011 at 5:09 pmPost count: 13
@TheGameGuy – Wow, I don’t feel so alone now. I too am so fearful of doing things wrong that I end up doing nothing – the cycle is neverending and I end up depressed and unsatisfied with myself.
Atychiphobia- is a Fear Of Failure — I believe I have this phobia as it is this fear that has allowed me to limit myself so much. In my case I believe it started in my childhood where GOOD was never good enough for my father. It caused my to set unreasonable standards for myself and to this day I am extremely hard on myself. People always point this out to me.
I remember getting 98% on a test in high school and being so elated yet when I showed my dad he was unimpressed and said I could do better. My confidence plumetted. I always tried to please my dad but he was never impressed with me. Never understood why I was never a Daddy’s girl so I tried showing him I could do guy stuff like my brother but he was even less impressed. I’ve struggled to be good enough for my father but I’VE ALWAYS FAILED. I’m no expert in the matter but I think it’s that fear of constant failure is embedded in my brain now.REPORT ABUSEOctober 2, 2011 at 10:03 pm #96428
AnonymousInactiveOctober 2, 2011 at 10:03 pmPost count: 14413
Hi Beebster…..I guess, when faced with criticism today….I ask myself… hmmmmm…….is it valid. I should maybe have a look see if the issue or criticism belongs to the critic, or me. If the flaw is mine….maybe I’ll see what I can do to remedy that. If flaw it belongs to my critic….that’s up to them to deal with, not me. My job is to simply walk away from that….. I can’t, won’t, must not own that, it’s not good for me!! That ownership is theirs.
I view imposed perfectionism in a similar light. If the goal is not mine, but another’s, and they are trying to impose their standards, on me, I need to be mindful. Yes, I do like to do a good job, maybe even to a higher standard than I maybe should, but the standard is mine and it’s reasonable and attainable. For me, feverishly attempting to reach an unattainable standard set by another would be problematic. I see the likely-hood of existing in constant fear of failure, and stress, which would be too damaging to my self-image and self-esteem. I deserve better. I flatly reject that kind of behavior from others. I am aware, I owe it to myself to deny those people ……..access to my heart. I have learned my heart deserves better care than some others will provide it……not everybody, but some. Access scrutiny, is my job.
For me, my past experience has been a great teacher…..I don’t dwell there, but it has taught me a lot. One thing I have learned from looking at my past is that re-learning is possible, it can be very difficult…..NOT IMPOSSIBLE….but difficult. So from that, I can comfortably tell myself that, the past does not have to predict my future, I should learn from it yes…..but let it predict…..no!!
toofatREPORT ABUSEOctober 3, 2011 at 12:24 am #96429
munchkinMemberOctober 3, 2011 at 12:24 amPost count: 285
Denying people access – that requires a strong sense of self, and courage that one has made the right decision. Fear of isolation gets in the way of that for me. It’s a lifetime’s work to find that kind of confidence, but worth the effort… whoa, heavy stuff!REPORT ABUSEOctober 3, 2011 at 3:57 am #96430
AnonymousInactiveOctober 3, 2011 at 3:57 amPost count: 14413
Whoa is right Munch…. yikes….heavy shit!!! For me Munch, it’s a matter of setting boundaries both internal and external……they are important to me. Funny, but I find people respect the management of strong “rational” boundaries. Others are kind of “wow”….when they see boundaries enforced. It’s not always popular either. Strange as it may seem, a lot folks seem to not understand that people will treat you as you allow them to. True not all folks are like that, but there those…..
So,no Much…I give don’t everybody access to my heart, good, real good close friends (I do), and I only have a couple, the rest are friends, and acquaintances or what have you……but only a few good good safe friends and family, with whom I trust my heart.
Anyway, I agree with you, it can be a lifetimes work or maybe it’s…..life work, the good stuff!!! I think we are worth it……and what hell, what else have I got to do??? Hahahahahaha…..
toofatREPORT ABUSEOctober 3, 2011 at 1:56 pm #96431
billdMemberOctober 3, 2011 at 1:56 pmPost count: 913
Hope toofat doesn’t take this wrong, I think I see a pattern – and had he been born 3,000 years ago or so, we’d be reading about yet another great philosopher…. (that’s not an insult………… but the opposite)
>>For me, feverishly attempting to reach an unattainable standard set by another would be problematic.<<
See if the music nut recognizes this one:
“I’m tired of breaking my back to please critics who can’t be pleased “
And why should you?? You only have to please you. Yeah, you have to live on the planet with others, but in the end, if you aren’t pleasing your self, or aren’t happy with yourself, will anyone else be?REPORT ABUSEOctober 3, 2011 at 8:19 pm #96432
beebsterMemberOctober 3, 2011 at 8:19 pmPost count: 13
“And why should you?? You only have to please you. Yeah, you have to live on the planet with others, but in the end, if you aren’t pleasing your self, or aren’t happy with yourself, will anyone else be?”
That little paragraph resonates with me intensely. I grew up EXACTLY the opposite. Naturally even as a kid my instincts would kick in to do what was best and live in a way that was best for me. That is to live amongst other people in this world but live life for MYSELF.
However it became a constant battle with my parents and brother . As a teen I was criticized EVERYTIME I tried to be an individual, i felt alienated and alone because I was called SELFISH, felt like I was bad for putting my self first. My boundaries were dismissed and as a kid I knew it felt wrong but had nothing else to compare my life too. I didn’t get it – I wasn’t hurting anyone, just treating myself with love care and respect – why did they act like I was being bad?? . It continued into adulthood- so it was never allowed for me to live for myself. I lived so as to not rock the boat…in fear of disappointing. My boundaries were crossed and recrossed to the point where they became nonexistant.
Finally of recent, I’ve come to see that I absolutely had EVERY right to have boundaries and I had every right to be an individual. I wasn’t being selfish, I was being human. So enforcing boundaries is new. The healing journey has begun – lol – I read a book called TOXIC PARENTS and it blew my mind! (unrelated to ADHD but it does make it even more difficult to deal with when you’re in toxic situation). Glad that at 28 my eyes are wide openREPORT ABUSEOctober 3, 2011 at 9:23 pm #96433
AnonymousInactiveOctober 3, 2011 at 9:23 pmPost count: 14413
Hey Beeb……….good on you, I’m excited for you!! Nobody promised us it would be an easy ride. It was hard work for me too….very hard, best work I ever did though. If folks… anybody…..try to tell you re-working your life and making it shine is impossible……..tell them………well…. just walk away from that!!! It’s possible, and worth the effort. I believe in you….your worth it!!!
If your into a good good read “Fully Human Fully alive” is my bible. It is written by John Powell, everybody I ever lend it to, who is in the struggle, ends up buying their own copy. It’s about our managing/changing our perspective….which is how we look out at our world or our reality. It was the bridge for me.
toofatREPORT ABUSEOctober 4, 2011 at 12:11 am #96434
beebsterMemberOctober 4, 2011 at 12:11 amPost count: 13
Toofat, thank you for your words of motivation…honestly at times I do start slipping and wonder if all this effort into re-working my life is worth it. I am so glad to now know someone that has done it! It gives me hope and strength knowing it is possible.Thanks for cheering me on, I needed it. I will definitely check this book out!REPORT ABUSEOctober 4, 2011 at 2:00 am #96435
AnonymousInactiveOctober 4, 2011 at 2:00 amPost count: 14413
Slight correction Beeb if I may………….not “done it” but “doing it”. It is a life long process, a way of life so to speak, there is no “done” really (at least for me)…but it becomes so natural and comfortable that it doesn’t seem like work.
Like the Door Mouse said……”feed your head”.
I was just told that Adult ADHD didn't Exist….2010-11-27T04:04:56+00:00
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