Re: ADHD family-member-to-be trying to sabotage me

[MarkJ]

Is there anything worse than a family member trying to sabotage your efforts? I feel your pain. I discovered that I had ADHD about a year and a half ago. I’m newly diagnosed as of Nov 2010. Not knowing and understanding that there has been a medically diagnosable condition affecting our family for generations has brought a lot of heart ache and unnecessary pain (divorces-financial issues-exploitation from various unscrupulous and Machiavelli types) into all our lives. And now that I’ve discover this, I am trying (almost feels futile at times) to bring this to the attention of all family members so that we can all have an understanding of what, why and how things are they way they are.

And one of my sisters has gone out of her way to discredit everything I’ve been bringing up. She is non-ADHD. She has gone as far as to say that the reason I am the way I am is because “I wasn’t punished enough as a child” Like that wasn’t so anyway. But she blames my parents for not punishing me enough. She brings in articles written by “professionals” who also discredit the existence of ADHD.

There are times when I wish that the symptoms were more than just behavioral issues. That maybe turning purple could be a symptom and the more severe your symptoms are, the deeper shade of purple you turned. Then there would be something physical and visual to point out.

I’ve gone out of my mind at times trying to convey the seriousness of ADHD. But the more excited I get, the worse off it seems. Would a family member go out of its way to dismiss a cancer diagnosis? Would you tell someone that is newly diagnosed with throat cancer that you get a sore throat sometimes as well? Its sick. But as I am learning the hard way…. a calm, slow and measured approach to discussing the issues is best. And to an ADHDer that’s like an oxymoron.

But what hurts me the most with that particular sister of mine is, regardless of my approach, she throws up her hands, dismisses me and walks away. I don’t get a chance to explain or explore anyways. So what can I do? Why is she so intent on being absolutely dismissive? It hurts….It hurts a lot.

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