Re: Medical marijuanna, what do you think about it?

[Anonymous]

I have to admit, I have on many occasions wanted to try marijuana to self-medicate.

I’m a fall-through-the-cracks ADDer who, because I had a lot of depression since childhood, I had a therapist who insisted I had concentration issues as a result of depression, not vice-versa. She was a new therapist, new PhD, new practice in Silver Spring, MD and I had good insurance. I don’t WANT to believe she was in it for the good paying client willing to go along with endless sessions of “woe-is-me, I’m so depressed” at $110 a session (insured). But 12 years later, still unable to sustain proper focus, lost to errant details and slightly less depressed I have no way of talking myself out of thinking that way about her. It doesn’t help that within about a year, she managed to afford to move her practice to Bethesda.

A few years after quitting her, I went to the hospital for a diagnosis, but ended up getting what was more of an intelligence test administered by a 22yr old intern with a few “games” (memory and computer) that are spot-on for hyperfocusing people like me (I see games as a chance to bedazzle people) ending up with a result of negative for ADHD (that pesky H!) I mean, they didn’t even take into account that I was 15 minutes late to the appointment and my papers were all out of order, holding us back another 15 minutes.

So I’ve been wanting to try self-medicating with pot. But then I get pissed off at seeing everyone around me easily getting help from their medical and psych professionals and here I am–trying to be proactive, in a difficult subject I had to overcome HUGE hangups about–yet ending up having to think about self-medicating even though the alleged “professionals” keep writing about how it’s bad to do that.

And I end up not doing pot, because I need something specific to help me focus properly (I either woefully under-focus or hyperfocus) and I’m not familiar with the strains.

I resent that I have to resort to think about pot. I hope they legitimize it soon so that proper strains for specific needs are regulated and a professional who knows about it can help me.

And that’s if I can actually MEET a professional. Once I called the practice of two authors of a very well-known ADD book for women and girls and whichever doctor it was I talked to had no advice or help to offer since she said they focus more on children (I guess the adults in her book were a footnote in her mind). Then she had no resources or contacts of who I can call. Well known authors. Pathetic.

Oh yeah, pot. Well, more power to you if it works for you. You got through school and beyond? Thumbs up. But please don’t be just another college grad slacker who isn’t any good in his “expertise”. I beg of you. I mean, you’ve already admitted to only putting in a minimum (barely studying) and that worries me. I have PhD friends who I’ve spoken to about this very subject. If you have any plans to go post-graduate, you’d better work on fixing that now or you’ll never get the recs to get in; or if you do, you will wash out.

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