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Hello decanus,
First I wouldn’t advertise the fact that I am ADD/AS in the office. I admire you, your openness. I am very secretive about it.
If you feel like you are being singled out at the workplace and the comments are unjustified, try asking yourself a couple questions.
Is this a job you want to keep?
Do I want to invest the time necessary to build a better reputation?
Let’s say you answered yes and yes.
Whether you start from the premise that they are right or that they are wrong, you can turn the comments into teaching moments with your boss. Try saying “I would like to improve this situation. Could you tell me when you notice me ‘wandering’ the most? Is it a time of the day? Because the more detail you can give me, the better improvements I can make.”
This does several things for you. It lets the boss know you want to become a better employee. It lets the boss give you advise which strokes their ego. It also gives you ammunition to defend yourself the next time it happens.
Even if your boss gets defensive and does not give you any advise or examples, you start keeping a log of what you do and where you go. The log will confirm they are either right or wrong. If they are right, it will keep you on track. If they are wrong, it becomes a tool to defend your position.
I have a life coach that I use to help me through situations, because I don’t always see these things coming at me and I constantly get blindsided. My life coach talks in terms of an emotional bank account. As near as I can figure, normals walk around making connections with people and forming bonds with them. Someone help me here, because I am on VERY shaky ground. Even if you don’t drink coffee, walking with them to the coffee house and talking with them builds these bonds. It is important.
When you are listening to people, instead of trying to talk, nod your head and say things like “I think I get it”. This does something for them… It makes my skin crawl, but I do it, because I have to. The difference that has made in my workplace experience has been PROFOUND. I am sure Dr J or someone can explain it far better than I can. Give it a try.
Hope this helps.
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