Reply To: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal.

[andreaaaaaah]

Thanks! Both of you! Wow! There is a lot more to all of our stories of course. The fertility thing- well that was initially the main reason to get off my pills but then after a certain point and with all my animals (dogs, chickens,etc) I realized infertility may be a gift from God. HA. It could still happen and we looked at foster/adoption.. but, no thanks today!! We have a great marriage and we’re around kids enough to feel that fulfillment, or whatever.

Halobender.. I think you described me fairly accurately . I am always happy, smiling and full of light and laughter. I live to be in the sunshine. I stay away from negative people and try to pursue peace with all people. I just like to laugh and focus on the positive. Any other attitude or thinking leads to a dark hole.
Naturally, I was super hard as nails-no-one-mess-with-me when I first got out of the military. Being a female in a man’s world taught me a lot. I was definitely not a drama queen in the military and I probably tried too hard to fit in with the boys club. Men are just waaay easier to get along and work with. There’s not all this emotional and catty BS all the time. Anyway, but there’s also downsides to being one of the 10%-15% females. I don’t need to get into any of that though.
And my self medicating is not at all going into any opioid trail. No way!! I spent a lot of time in California while I was stationed there and after. I I believe in the green to treat many things versus the majority of these pills that have major chronic side affects. Opioids or any form of them in a street drug I am super against and am not even curious to try. I tripped off acid one time when I was 15 and that scared the crap out of me! I have been somewhat wild and super outgoing but I was still very sensible about rules and the law. I do not like to get into trouble. I like to have a clear conscious so I can sleep at night! I would get yelled at so much for not being on time, etc.. stupid little stuff that everyone else never had an issue with. Why give people more amno to yell at me! Ha! Right? I did finally complete a college program finally not too long ago. That was like a major milestone!

Halobender– Thank you for your story, advice, encouragement, and care. I want to hear about your soul being lift up again.. I believe it will happen for you again. You need to believe that though too. Treatment? I got a lil fuzzy with your story…The green stuff became like a gateway drug for you? What about now if it was regulated somehow? Then again, maybe it would always be a slippery slope for some.
I am really working on healthy habits. I got animals that keep me structured. Ha. I am really really super blessed in life right now. I did recently lose my full-time (new career) job recently(most likely due to my ditzy nature with a boss who was super together and perfect/organized at everything..seeing I was not) so I’m only working part time now again. It kind of made me feel like a failure but yet I have way less stress since getting fired from that boss. I know I frustrated him. His personality type was intolerant to repeating instructions more than once. I know I did my very very best though. I have no reason to complain about anything in life. I just want to make sure I am doing what I’m suppose to be doing.. I have it really good and I don’t feel like I deserve it so I just try to be my best. I thank God for my husband each and every day! He makes it so easy for me. I know other women my age who hate on me because I probably have it so good. I try not to take anything for granted though! The more thankful I am the more I seem to be blessed with.

I’m excited to keep reading others stories on here because I know others have had different and probably tougher strides to take in life. They have faced more people treating them like an idiot longer or with harsher situations. I only meet someone like minded once in awhile. Its always sooo refreshing!! Well, I know I get all this from my mom.. its so clear.. That kind of mirror image strives me to be better though.

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