The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Other › 21year old son in university and everything he has been telling us is a LIE !!! › Re: 21year old son in university and everything he has been telling us is a LIE !!!
Trashman – hard issues all the way around – tough love had me more or less sleeping under a bridge, which I don’t recommend – but it does seem like your wife has trouble drawing limits. It’s near impossible to help someone who won’t help themself.
When I was in a similar position to your son, limits were drawn, but help was not offered. It must be so hard for your wife to deal with feelings of guilt – I think that’s pretty typical for parents of kids with problems, but more guilt or blame is not going to help this problem. Also the bond between mother and son is something that defies all logic.
He must decide to come clean and get help – but how can you influence that? Hard, hard… Maybe he doesn’t know what will happen if he tells you the truth about what’s really going on in his life. Maybe he’s afraid of losing what control he has over his life – only recently obtained. Maybe he still thinks he can things straightened out on his own…. but can he?
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