Your post, the size, subject matter, and the fact that you’re letting us see a lot of you shows real courage and a sincere desire to suffer less from all the adhd related struggles you’ve got. I don’t think anyone here has been hurt in any way by your post. I relate to just being in the habit of apologizing… I call it “justifying my existence”. Please allow me to inform you that you do indeed have a right to exist exactly as you are. A lot of your story, n experience sounds like my own. It’s totally okay to talk about the problems you’ve got here. You’ll find people here that can relate. More than just me.
I’m still bewildered with grammar too. I’m kinda dealing with some denial I’ve had about me having dyslexia, or just symptoms of some kind. That’s one of my current struggles.
It’s amazing how many different subjects and sciences we can find interesting. In 1997 when I first got on the Internet, I would surf endlessly from one interesting subject to another. All the different kinds of physics is still very interesting to me. I see that curiosity as a strength now. I just need to follow peoples advice about how and where to channel that curiosity. (So far spell check has helped me about a dozen time in this post, editing takes longer than the actual writing). I can relate to how you feel about your own writing. I don’t think it’s that bad, but I’m no English major. I take my time much more when posting these days. I think your writing is easy enough to understand and relate to also. This ain’t the best way to communicate, but it’s better than absolute solitude. I’ve never let my struggles with writing prevent me from participating here. I’ve also noticed that the people here are extremely patient and forgiving about it. Polite, and they don’t endlessly tell me to “quit being so hard on yourself” They find ways to help me without sounding like an abusive parent, this is a super cool gang of folks.
Welcome to our circus! 
I’m sure you’ll find lot’s of folks you can relate to, and hopefully feel like I mostly do. I feel like I’m getting helped.
I pretty much just ignore the thinking in my head that says I don’t fit in, or my problems are too much and too big… etc. Just negative pessimistic stuff. That’s just a lil more of the stuff I used to struggle with much more in the past, I don’t think we get done making progress. I just know that I’m not suffering like I used to with negative thinking, and a lot of the same problems you’ve talked about.
Stick around, take your time, read a bunch and explore this whole site.
REPORT ABUSE