The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › My Story › 99% sure I'm ADHD & now I have to circumnavigate getting diagnosed?? Cruel joke! › Re: 99% sure I'm ADHD & now I have to circumnavigate getting diagnosed?? Cruel joke!
@billd – thank you. I didn’t actually get to the list making (big surprise…), and I know I forgot some things, and I did zone out a bit here and there, but I’ve been doing so much thinking about this stuff lately, that I was able to remember some key things, and actually her questions even triggered some new things.
After my appointment I went for lunch with my dad and we had an amazing discussion! I had him go through a childhood checklist on me, and it was amazing how he remembered things vs how I did, and how we reminded each other of situations that belied our first instincts when answering. And it made him think about his own life a lot. He nodded and said “Me too!” a bunch of times. I don’t know that he’ll go for full testing, but the awareness that he’s not the only one, and that there are other people who struggle the same way has given him a new perspective. He’s made a couple of positive changes in the last few years, and instead of feeling defeated, he’s inspired to continue making little changes to keep improving. I hadn’t expected to find such a kindred spirit in my dad as we’ve never talked about the aspects of our lives that have given us such trouble before. But it was truly awesome to talk to someone who totally understood!
@MonkeyBarb – My dad and I both talked a lot today about guilt and shame, and we have both chosen to experience it, but not to dwell on it. It ebbs and flows for me, but I have always seen the glass half full, and this time I think it’s really important to keep a positive outlook. We can’t change the past, but we have full control of the future.
My dad is 71 and he and I both are wondering just what we might accomplish now that we have a better understanding of both our limitations and our strengths. I feel like I have a lot of learning to do, but I have a new core strategy of working with my strengths instead of trying to overcome my limitations. It’s a huge shift in thinking, but it’s giving me a lot of positive feelings about what’s to come!
Please do keep us posted – you might be surprised by your doctor, and if you’re not, keep trying. It is worth it to find someone who is willing to work with you on this journey.
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