The issues of control are strong just as the feelings of being out of control. The earliest manifestations of control come when we are around 18 months of age. The word “no” is the foundation to our need to be in control. “No, I want to feed myself. No, I want to get into my own clothes. No, I want to open the door.” “No” is the word of independence but hearing the word from others creates feelings of rejection. “If you loved me, you would give me everything that I want and you wouldn’t say “No” to me.”
Interestingly, the issues of inattention and impulsivity are also linked to the word “no” as well. I refer to this in some of the videos under “inhibitory control” or the “filtering hypothesis”. In either case, the word “no” is dysfunctional.
One would arguably say that ADDers are people locked in childhood, perhaps still struggling with this internal word that continues to cause them stress. After all, the adult version of the”no” word is “I’m good enough” or self-rejection. ADDers ARE very sensitive for the same reason. Keep it real and focus on your strengths. Time to say “YES” to YOU.