Dr. Umesh Jain
is now exclusively responsible
for TotallyADD.com
and its content
Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

The Forums Forums Ask The Community ADD and emotional/control issues

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • Anonymous
    #88146 |

    Hi Doctor,

    I was originally diagnosed with ADD when I was a kid, and started taking medication (currently on concerta and ritalin – depending on the type of workload I have) about 7 years ago while in university. I feel I have a made good progress on addressing many of the “practical” issues focused on this site such as social interactions, organisation, getting work done etc. I was wondering however, if you know of a correlation between ADD and its effect on a persons emotional state.

    Most of the commentary dealing with emotional state and ADD in the videos refer to the emotional distress someone with ADD can have going through life from dealing with our society, or issues of regret because they weren’t diagnosed earlier, there was also a mention of control being a symptom of ADD.

    Anywyas – I have always created problems or complications in my life. In school, personal relationship, in my thinking about the world etc. These problems could be real or made up in my head, or somewhere in between. I think so much about everything, and delve so much into analysis on any topic that interests me (ei: a girlfriend, the way people treat animals, the manifestations of internal colonialism in today’s society- I have learned ADD’ers shouldn’t study politics :) ) – While I have begun to learn that there is a disconnect between a healthy and normal emotional response and the feelings i seem to get from my intellectual exercises or thought patterns on these topics which stimulate me, there is one topic that I find more and more “stimulating” as I get older: my health.

    Perhaps making problems that don’t exist, or taking a global problem or issue and interpreting it through an emotional filter (which almost always is negative feelings) is about maintaining an interest? or that I cannot be bored? or other issues associated with ADD such as control?

    While I have made progress in identifying and trying to fix my negative outlook on the world and people – but the more I do that the more I seem to have “health issues”. I have gone to see a doctor about issues that are new, yet fairly normal and healthy in most people, and some about issues which were real in my past, and have been inactive for a long time- but I now seem to think they are coming back. So anyways – I am seeing a pattern in all my thoughts and worries, and while I have made progress made in one sphere of thinking (or fixing or worrying) something else (most recently health issues) pops up.

    I have heard that ADDers commonly have issues of control and a need to be stimulated somehow – could my situation be an emotional manifestation of these ADD symptoms? It just seems the more i “fix” the more something new comes up.

    I guess I would like to know how in my search for some emotional and inner peace – where ADD fits in.

    I would be grateful of any advice you might be able to give (preferably before I need to make my next doctor’s appointment :) ) -I would also be interested in reading anything you might be able to recommend on this topic.

    Thanks!! and Thanks for the organisers of this site!!

    #91641 |

    lookoverthere, I can totally relate to the over analysis of trivial or mundane (or even the critically serious) subject matter in life – especially personal relationships. I often find myself wondering “Why did s/he say that the way s/he said it?” or “Damn it! I should’ve said THAT instead!” to the point that I’m beating myself up over the smallest details of a conversation or event. I believe this analytical behaviour to be a hallark of ADDers.

    Empathy. I think you’ll find that most, if not all ADDers are incredibly sensitive and more often than not, take things to heart and tend to really analyze situations and play scenarios back and forth in their heads. I’m certain that our extraordinary intelligence and creativity lend themselves very well to problem-solving in the area of personal matters (I know I often play the role of counsellor to many friends) – have you ever found yourself providing advice to someone that was so spot on you amazed even yourself because it came from ‘nowhere’?

    As we get older, I think our focus and thoughts become more internalized. Our explorative nature causes us to look inward because for most of our lives, we spend so much time in exploration of the world around us rather than the world within us. It’s only natural then, that the analytical persona at this stage of life begins to observe and process the ‘self’ and naturally, health is top of the list. If you’re pre-disposed to be empathic and this equates to a hightened sensitivity, it makes complete sense as to why you’re suddenly concerned about your own health – even to the point of perhaps being hypercondriac (I’m not suggesting you are but the potential for us ADDers is certainly there!).

    The other side of the coin is the one you already mentioned: control. The sub-conscious will inevitably create new situations and events to control if existing ones are resolved (if one has control ‘issues’). That segment of the ego needs that in order to perpetuate it’s survival. If this is a defense mechanism stemming from a traumatic event in ones life or perhaps an over-riding need for focus, the sub-conscious has devised a way to propogate health issues as a means to maintain that solace, that sanctuary of defense.

    I’m by no means a phychiatrist or neuroscientist (like I have to qualify that! LOL) so that’s just my circumlocutory assessment :).

    #91642 |

    The issues of control are strong just as the feelings of being out of control. The earliest manifestations of control come when we are around 18 months of age. The word “no” is the foundation to our need to be in control. “No, I want to feed myself. No, I want to get into my own clothes. No, I want to open the door.” “No” is the word of independence but hearing the word from others creates feelings of rejection. “If you loved me, you would give me everything that I want and you wouldn’t say “No” to me.”

    Interestingly, the issues of inattention and impulsivity are also linked to the word “no” as well. I refer to this in some of the videos under “inhibitory control” or the “filtering hypothesis”. In either case, the word “no” is dysfunctional.

    One would arguably say that ADDers are people locked in childhood, perhaps still struggling with this internal word that continues to cause them stress. After all, the adult version of the”no” word is “I’m good enough” or self-rejection. ADDers ARE very sensitive for the same reason. Keep it real and focus on your strengths. Time to say “YES” to YOU.

    #91643 |

    Thanks to the both of you! Your advice came has spurred me on to delve into understanding more about the “pattern of worry” – TheBishop72, what you described seemed to be identicle to many aspects of my personality.! I don’t suppose you could recommend a book which goes into more depth on the things you mentioned could you?

    It feels like I just discovered a new path that was always right under my nose :)

    Thanks again!

    #91644 |

    You’re very welcome! The irony of “under your nose” is that we can’t physically see under our noses. Kind of like touching your elbow…As far as books on subject matter such as this, I really don’t know anything specific but you could try reading about NLP (neurolinguistic programming) which teaches you to look at physiological triggers and how thoughts manifest into the physical. For a little more on the spiritual side of guidance, Dr. Wayne Dyer has some decent writings out there (a little Christian-centric what with God as the archetype and all but good nonetheless). One book: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life comes to mind. There’s also one from him called The Power of Intention which I found to be quite good. It’s very paragraphically written too (for the most part) which helps when getting through more than 4 sentences is a daunting task. There’s another one by Louise Hay called You Can Heal Your Life that I’m told is excellent but I can’t provide any insight as I havent read it. They all fall under the “self help” section in any bookstore and I’m sure you could probably get them for a deal on amazon.ca/com

    Hope that helps and I hope you can get the inspiration you need! I’m sure you’ll be amazing.

    #91645 |

    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (David Burn’s Book, Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy) or Mindfulness Therapy is very useful in breaking down the negative feelings that typically are attached to the long term development of the ADDer.

    NLP, as TheBishop72 is very useful particularly for people who have an imagination way of understanding. For example, writing your autobiography (as your life is a book) and then writing out the next chapter for the future yet untold. Well, when you write the next chapter, you are essentially speaking to the outcome of what you want your world to be and then that gives you the goal to follow.

    Hope that helps.

    #91646 |

    Hi Doc,

    I did a search for those videos you mentioned but I can’t seem to find them – any help?

    Thanks alot for your.

    #91647 |

    here are the videos


    But I could not locate the one Dr.J refers to.

    #91648 |

    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy free online, highly interactive program can be accessed at moodgym.anu.edu.au It’s broken into modules to work through which do require input, and have character examples. it’s fun!

    Oh my goodness the ruminations that can happen with a tiny spark and way too much free time. Can work myself into quite a state. Driving is a big part of my day so audio-books are fabulous to keep my thoughts in check.

    Agreed – Power of Intention (audiobook) has some good tips. My bookshelves are lined with ‘self-help’ books. Years ago during a group discussion about death and what we would want on our tombstone – “I would like for them to say I was Serene” Three friends actually guffawed!!! I love the words ‘serene & tranquil’ in theory – in practice I haven’t the slightest clue what it feels like.

    #91649 |


    there’s somthing that i have noticed lately and i would like to know if add has anything to do with it, umm well i feel like i have a hard time letting people into my life, and by into my life i mean as in for example lets say friends , i have alot of friends and some that could be concedered as close friends but i just feel like i dont share too much, and i dont know why , and i am guessing thats one of the reasons that no one really knows me as in knows me… does that make any sense , i dont know how to make this any clearer than that haha!!! lol forget about what i just wrote but could someone please describe to me what the socail life for some one with is like??

    thank you very much

    #91650 |

    You totally lost me at ” the manifestations of internal colonialism in today’s society”

    #91651 |


    What medications are recommended for anger, grumpiness or frustation .I am currently taking 80mg straterra daily perscribed by my GP to deal with my anxiety and depression/ADD suspicions.


    #91652 |

    Rebrouter, the information on CBT, as listed above, are very useful for you and not just the medication story. And for “whatever”, there is something holding you back that keeps you distanced from people you really want to have an emotional connection to. Even then, CBT can help though an insight oriented therapy approach might be better.

    And Simoski…..lol

    Donna Jean
    #91653 |

    Here is my problem: I have been on Ritalin for six weeks. The doctor had me stop taking Amitriptyline (25mg 4 times a day). Also I take only 100mg of Bupropion now instead of 150mg every morning. Sure, I can sit still now and read, do the the wonderword in record time and I do feel somewhat more calm, until the Ritalin wears off. I am sad, I am isolating and crying often. The few people that I have talked to that know me can see the difference. I was happy go lucky before and now I feel alone and sad. I don’t have the positive outlook I had. I have to “fake it in front of people”. I don’t want to pretend anymore.

    Does anyone feel this way too?

    Patte Rosebank
    #91654 |

    These are the sort of developments that you should be noting in a daily journal, and going to see your doctor about.

    If your previous medication regimen was making you feel good, and this one is giving you symptoms of depression, than it is definitely not right for you, and you must see your doctor to have it changed. You are just wasting time and money on something that is supposed to make you feel better, but is actually making you feel worse. Make an appointment with your doctor, ASAP.

    IMPORTANT: If the medication makes you feel like harming yourself or others, you need to get medical help IMMEDIATELY.

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