The Forums › Forums › Ask The Community › Advise from the grilfriend › Re: Advise from the grilfriend
Real person or not, the message that was supposedly sent is one of the most insulting things – and what most of us endured all through childhood, and if folks would read info on some OTHER sites, would see it simply ain’t so. ADHD isn’t a choice. (jusg as other conditions – or aspects of “being different” isn’t a choice. ADHD is a medical condition where in some cases it’s been shown parts of the brain are smaller, not functioning properly, maybe inactive or less active, actually several possible causes. Simply “wanting to change” and “working harder” or “he could change if he wanted to” is the ultimate insult to those of us with ADHD that’s fairly severe.
Some even here are implying that all I need to do is decide to change, to work harder. Trust me, I’m totally exhausted at the end of the day from trying so hard.
If it was that bloody simple, we’d certainly not need any forums or support or meds – it would be a choice and counseling could fix it all.
Maybe for SOME here, simply trying harder works. But that’s not the majority, not even close, it’s the view of some who hang here because this forum fits their personality and beliefs. You can’t judge ADHD even by the members here because folks with certain types of ADHD, certain severities, etc. will end up in different places. it’s like visitng a hospital that specializes in heart care, then reporting back that most people who are sick have heart issues. No, most people with heart issues go to that hospital.
that’s a long ADHD way of saying I agree with scatty and my meds have WORN OFF………… it’s late here, and I’m 3 hours out of the meds effects.
I’m an intelligent person, I’ve studied psychology and did quit well at it, i’ve lived over 5 decades, i’ve tried all sorts of things, I realized how my son was, and how my mother was, and didn’t want to “be like that”, but no no avail. It’s not a choice, it’s a block that in some cases, actually many cases, can’t simply be walked around by trying harder. That’s what our unknowing grade school teachers tried to convince our parents 45 years ago.
3rd marriage, lost track of jobs, 3rd career, all the losses and rewards – don’t think I’m not trying or haven’t been trying hard.
Doesn’t mean I’m not trying – I am, but I realize now finally that I need help – and I believe I’ve found a key – now I just need to find the correct combination of notches in that key so I can finally walk through the door and find more successes.
I almost feel at times like some folks actually believed what they were told all those years ago in school……… and I also at times question the diagnosis some folks were given.
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