The Forums › Forums › Ask The Community › Advise from the grilfriend › Re: Advise from the grilfriend
You tell ’em Billd. You tell ’em!
—”I believe you can change behavior if you really want to.”
To change or not to change, that is the $64 question. It really does boil down to whether that assertion is true or… misguided. If it’s true, then Billd is right—we don’t need any forums, or support, or meds, except perhaps something to help us calm down. What we need is a kick in the pants. If our free will is unimpaired, then we have no excuse. We need to get off our rear ends and get to work. We need to clean the house, get organized, get a good job, and… get happy! And certainly, we should stop whining and wasting our time on ADD forums.
Ah, but… what if it’s NOT entirely true? What if it really is possible for a moral will to be compromised by dint of neurological accident? O-o-o-h, that’s a bunker-buster bomb. Most religions (and philosophies)—Western and Eastern—as well as personal relationships rest on the pillar of free choice. And here we ADDers are asserting that, at least to some extent, our free wills are disabled. We cannot “will” to pay attention. We cannot “will” to get organized. We cannot “will” to behave in certain ways. Or so we say. And to make our point, we send people to Russ Barkley videos on Youtube. He cites one study after another and claims ADD brains are “bifurcated.” Indeed, he says, our ability to act on rational decisions is compromised.
So, then, this brings us around to the very nature of this thing we call ADD. Is it just a penchant for losing keys and a knack for the creative and gregarious? Or does it, as alleged, really produce a dysfunction of the moral will? If it’s the latter, it’s serious business. In that case, perhaps we should call it Personal Integrity Disorder, because it strips us not just of our ability to remember something cooking on the stove (bad enough), but of our ability to make prudent, loving life choices. It’s an affliction that attacks the soul and, by extension, our very humanity.
Many people simply refuse to accept this. No explanation will suffice. Hey, I never wanted to believe it either. We all want to believe we’re in control of our choices and largely in control of our destiny. We want to be able to tell our partners, “Yes dear, I’ll keep the house clean, the laundry washed, and the bank account full!”
If only.
William, you could try to explain that you suffer from a biologically impaired free will. But I think I’d have my bags packed and the engine running.
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