Re: Bullying

[Anonymous]

I dunno maybe im just in adown spot right now but i have not had a full time job since 2004… when i was fired from tsa for absences caused by a “mystery illness” that over 12 doctors have yet to diagnose after almost well 8 years[ this Sunday to the day]…Pretty sure I have ADHD as well, but have been prev diagnosed as Scizoaffective(1989), atypical bipolar (1990), Acute anxiety (1995), epilieptic(2001)…etc but dont fit in to any category neatly except possibly ADHD. I think the physical symptoms are either Psychsomatic or stress-related. I get REALLY REALLY physically ill like the worst flu you ever had on top of the worst hangover you ever had. When working, i call-in …. when I feel better and get ready to return to work the next day, i feel anxiety; so much so, that i feel my heart is going to burst out of my chest…so i sit down already in uniform or dressed and ready togo ,and call in again (once or twice I even called in from my car outside work, and turned around and went home)…..a few days of this, of course; and i’m fired or forced to quit. What nobody, not even my wife seems to understand is that I have absolutely no control over it…further even my 5 year old son asks me things like “Dad are you gonna get a job, cuz i need new shoes and mommy says we cant afford it right now cuz you won’t get a job?” It hurts…my wife says things like “I know you’ll never go back to work again, I’ve just accepted that; but I don’t think you are neccessarily disabled; just lazy, and the illness is all in your head etc…..blah…blah…blah…just ‘be a man’ and get you ass back to work..etc” I have to admit, I understand why she’s fed up but why won’t she understand that I simply can’t help my behavior? I’m constantly getting beat-down by her and others in my life…I’ve reached the point where I dont even care anymore and just wanna give up…………I guess what I’m saying is i understand your utter frustration…….THEN I FOUND YOU GUYS.

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