Re: Bullying

[Anonymous]

If you have been out of work for a year and a half, and just can’t face returning to an office environment, then it’s time to look for another line of work. The more stuck and frozen with fear you get – the more stuck you can get, if that makes any sense. The longer you are out of work, the harder it will be to get your next job. Your self esteem and self confidence will continue to erode.

Volunteering might be worth considering. It would give you opportunities to try different things and might give you inspiration as to what would be a better fit for you in terms of what you could do for a living. Longer term volunteering commitments – say six months or more – can yield useful contacts and job references. Try websites like CharityVillage.org for listings of opportunities in your area.

Some things are beyond our control; others are not. How much feedback did you get from your previous employers and colleagues about why they didn’t like you? None of us is perfect, and criticism can be very hurtful, but sometimes it’s fair. Were there things you could have done differently, or better? I know you tried, but are there any further coping strategies you could employ to minimize the impact of your ADD on your colleagues or employers? Maybe you in an office environment just was the classic “square peg in a round hole” scenario and always will be and it’s just time to move on to something else. A year and a half is long enough to grieve and come to terms with this.

Work, for you, may never amount to more than a way to pay your bills. That’s okay. It’s time to ask yourself what would make you happy – not the “you” you would be if only things were different, but the “you” you actually are now. Then figure out how to get from where you are now to there. You may need help with interpersonal relationships; don’t be afraid to seek it. Break it into small steps and allow yourself to have setbacks without shattering. It’s never quick or easy; it’s a long, slow process. But if you’re willing to be honest with yourself, accept valid criticism without defensiveness (easier said than done, I know), ask for and accept help, you might be able to look back on this moment in your life one day from a happier better place. I hope so. Hang in there.

REPORT ABUSE