Re: Clearing the Air

[Anonymous]

Quite a topic Munch………..my knee jerk response would be……”it is a poor set of feet and legs, that would stand there and let the nose get bloody”.

That being said, for practicing (trialing) a new set of interpersonal skills, that just may be the only way to really develop them. Sure you can “role play”….that has it’s place but sooner or later, the real world comes knockin”.

Just being mindful and seeing a “situation developing”, or, being mindful of the development signals, before one is in deep…… in itself, could be a huge benefit, then of course……. one would also have their new tool set to try out. Cool……

My answer is yes, yes, and I tell them straight, and softly…”golly, I’m not comfortable our last meet ended well”. Next I ask…..”You up for a coffee, I’m buying”………or something of that nature. Most folks will go for coffee, with you. Once your sitting down in a private place, where both feel free talking……restate your uncomfortableness, ie….. with an “I” ‘statement, short short short!!!!!!! No explaining…do not…..doing so will only re-establish the conflict.

Then wait, patience, wait……DO NOT SPEAK…….they will speak…….when they do, look directly at them and flip into “active listening” mode…..let them continue to speak, for as long as it takes. Feed back what they are saying, when appropriate, they will feel affirmed. You will likely get your results.

What’s really hard is…..Do not try and fix it…….resist…..I find, that by allowing the other to talk it through, they will sort out the issues.

Is that what you were looking for?????? That format ( in a nutshell) works for me ALWAYS!!

Toofat

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