The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Stuck in Regret/Anger › Confused… › Re: Confused…
Good point Shutterbug, how many real experts can there possibly be?, we’re all freaking affected differently by this thing. The ones like myself: diagnosed just after I turned 47, I’ve had a long life of a wide variety of very different and complex trauma. I have chronic pain. I used to have severe depression, I was given the wrong medication. Many of us were misdiagnosed. SSRI’s cut down how much I felt my feelings. In hindsight I can see how I was hypomanic for years. It was the lesser of two evils. “Evils” sounds more dramatic than it actually was. But dramatic is how I experienced life… Not to mention the fact that I’ve spent more than half of the last 16 years fighting just to survive all the unknown complications that came with my spinal cord injury. I’m starting to see how PTSD may be a bigger part of my mix of struggles than I ever have in the past. I’m in therapy again, and the questions she asks are uncovering some real horrible memories.
So yeah, sometimes I think people on all those daytime shows are dicks. That’s a lil harsh, I know. Only a few days ago I watched about 10 minutes of his show though! lol. He mostly caters to women and that’s not a crime, I just can’t relate. I also agree that what he primarily does is entertain people. It’s daytime TV, they primarily sell soap! lol. Not being judgmental is difficult. That’s a big part of what people do in social conversations. Maybe that’s a part of why I tend to just roll away when people are talking. I’m interested in other stuff. Most people’s opinion of other people ends up being exactly wrong.
I have no bumber stickers, if I get one it will be one of those “kill your television” ones. My TV is on, just for the background noise… I only have cable for PBS mainly. There’s a great song by Red Hot Chili Peppers called kill your television. The lyrics hit the spot perfectly. It’s not heavy metal. have a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Myft0EkYo2U This is a good recording. Or just read the lyrics I copy n pasted.
Throw away your television
Time to make this clean decision
Master waits for its collision now
It’s a repeat of a story told
It’s a repeat and it’s getting old
Throw away your television
Make the break big intermission
Recreate your supervision
now It’s a repeat of a story told
It’s a repeat and it’s getting old
Renegades with fancy gauges
Slay the plague for it’s contagious
Pull the plug and take the stages
Throw away your television now
Oy oy oy
Throw away your television
Take the noose off your ambition
Reinvent your intuition now
It’s a repeat of a story told
It’s a repeat and it’s getting old
Renegades with fancy gauges
Slay the plague for it’s contagious
Pull the plug and take the stages
Throw away your television now
Throw away your television
Salivate to repetition
Alleviate this ill condition now
It’s a repeat It’s a repeat
It’s a repeat
It’s a repeat
It’s a repeat
Riding that lawnmower sounds excruciatinigly painful! I have a power wheelchair that cruises along at about 8 mph. For a wheelchair that’s real fast!. It’s a recliner, I pop wheelies and get sideways. Do donuts in the dirt etc. Rarely, these days, but when I first got it the novelty of it was fun. I’ve been doing great for years not speeding in my car. There are some great mountain roads here in Ca. though. I’ve only been in one car accident in my life. 2 speeding tickets. Both were speed traps. (Lazy cops sit out of site where pretty much every one speeds, collecting money for a few days…) When I was a carpenter I used to drive up to 4 or 5 hours a day commuting to jobs all around the bay area of Ca. Not all the statistics about car accidents fit all of us. (I was checking that Barkley thing from 2002.) 10 year old research is too old IMHO. We’re all different. I prefer fast, but I do just as well driving 15 mph as 115, good sticky tires and keeping the air pressure right is important. I don’t like statistics in general. I can’t stand it when people try to put me into any box of any kind EVER!. I can’t think of a more cruel thing to do to a human being than pass judgement.
Never do that!. Unless you enjoy being wrong.
I got hit from behind while stopped at a red light sitting on my motorcycle. So yeah!… I pay attention and keep my eyes on the F’ing road and my mirrors, and I do head checks. No sudden lane changes etc. I never want to be responsible for taking away the life I used to live from anyone… all in all I’d rather be me than that 16 yr. old in a pickup truck that nailed me.
I wonder how different our lives would have been if diagnosed earlier Momma?. I try not to spend much time there though. It’s onward and foreword for me. I won’t tell you that’s easy. Our mind travels back into the past in a heartbeat if we’re not paying attention to our own thinking. I wish I could remember who it was that talks about Mindfulness. I’ll use google to search this site n find out… BRB. Here’s the link, http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2737 I don’t like that page cuz I talk so dang much on it. Guess I need to give myself a break huh?. BTW, it’s not a crime to skim through a persons posts. I know that there are a few people that do get helped by my long posts. I’m done with feeling unhealthy shame. Mostly. There is such a thing as healthy shame. Humility for example.
I’m pretty sure it’s Ipsofacto that talks a lot about mindfulness. Click on “member” in blue under his name for more info on mindfulness. It’s really about getting “centered”, or in other words, just staying in the now. There’s a ton if info on the page I put the link to about mindfullnes. Try some meditation. I’ll go ahead and do my morning meditation just as soon as I’m done posting this. On that page I posted a link to, I talk some about meditation and how it helps us to remain mindful.
Have an excellent day okay?
Peace.
8-31-12
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