Confused…

[distractedmomma]

Ok, so I’m getting the message that ADHD is not all bad and that our brains are just wired differently and so on. But lately I’ve seen things on Dr Oz where there was an illustration to help the audience better understand the ADHD brain. On top of the “normal” brain was the word “Healthy” and then above the ADHD brain it simply read “ADHD”. Ok, so the ADHD brain is unhealthy?

I’m also bothered by the term mental illness. If so many people claim that they love the fact that they have ADHD, then why is it categorized as an illness?

This confuses me

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[shutterbug55]

Hi Distracted,

I wrestled with this as I was looking at my own life through the new lens of discovering I was ADD. It was both a relief because I had a tag I could now hang on the way I am, and a source of frustration as I thought about “Why wasn’t I born with a ‘Normal’ brain?”

Dr Oz is hardly an authority on ADD. He has a TV show which means he is a good entertainer, not necessarily a good doctor. I think he is desperately trying to explain a very complex, very individual, and very profound condition to the least common denominator in his audience. All the while, he is trying to understand the condition himself.

Here’s how I try to explain it to my friends:

The non ADHD people out there are like my neighbor on his riding lawnmower. He putts up and down the yard and sometimes to the store. He gets to where he is going at 2-3mph. He has plenty of time to contemplate life, his to-do list, and look around at the flowers, the birds, the bees and the trees. If he gets distracted, no big deal because at 2mph, he won’t ever stray far off the path. At the end of the day, his to-do list is done.

The ADHD people out there are like Mario Andretti in a 200mph Ferrari, with gas pedal stuck to the floor and no idea how to work the brake. In that same day, we could travel from San Fran to Miami and part way back! No time to see the birds, bees, trees, or much of anything else. It we get distracted, we could end up in Buffalo! At the end of the day, we realize we are very far off the path, we have seen some pretty cool things, and… oh yea.. groceries… forgot all about them.

For me, it is an effort to do some things like to-do lists and other things that most people seem to do as naturally as breathe. However, put me on a problem, and stand back! That Ferrari is revving up and wanting to go. When I am working a problem, I couldn’t think as slowly as a “normal” if I tried!

Done with that problem, put me on the next, and so on.

I am learning how to move from task to task, how to conserve my energy. How to use tools to make me more effective in society, by identifying things that play to MY strengths. Trying to discover what my strengths are. This is something that will take years of learning. Because society has told me all too often what I CAN’T do, but never what I CAN.

Dr Oz and others like him, have 5 minutes to identify the issue, explain it, make a few jokes, and move on. There is no way they can even scratch the surface on how ADD/ADHD affects our lives and the lives around us. No way.

Hope this helps.

I have learned a lot about ADD and I still wonder why I wasn’t born with a “Normal” brain, not from a “Why me” point of view, it has shifted to a “What am I supposed to do with it”.

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[ipsofacto]

Good post shutterbug55

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[trashman]

Very well said Shutterbug55 !!!!

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[Wgreen]

Hey Momma,

You have landed on a site that leans toward the “it’s a gift” theory of ADD. The best I can tell, this is a minority view among mental health professionals. The following paragraph is excerpted from an International Consensus Paper On ADHD published in the Child and Family Psychology Review (Vol. 5, No. 2) in June 2002. It was signed by over 80 internationally prominent clinicians and researchers:

“ADHD is not a benign disorder. For those it afflicts, ADHD can cause devastating problems. Follow-up studies of clinical samples suggest that sufferers are far more likely than normal people to drop out of school (32–40%), to rarely complete college (5–10%), to have few or no friends (50–70%), to underperform at work (70–80%), to engage in antisocial activities (40–50%), and to use tobacco or illicit drugs more than normal. Moreover, children growing up with ADHD are more likely to experience teen pregnancy (40%) and sexually transmitted diseases (16%), to speed excessively and have multiple car accidents, to experience depression (20–30%) and personality disorders (18–25%) as adults, and in hundreds of other ways mismanage and endanger their lives.

… ADHD should be depicted in the media as realistically and accurately as it is depicted in science—as a valid disorder having varied and substantial adverse impact on those who may suffer from it through no fault of their own or their parents and teachers.”

— http://www.russellbarkley.org/content/Consensus2002.pdf

ADDers do have talents. Some have extraordinary abilities. But it’s not at all clear to what extent any of these personal talents stem from Attention Deficit. What is clear is that ADD generally comes with a serious downside. IF ONLY it were just a racing mind.

Of course, Attention Deficit is what we here frequently refer to as a “spectrum” disorder—it comes in different flavors, from mildly annoying to brutally life-shattering. I have no experience with “mildly annoying.” Perhaps that does somehow have a defibrillating effect on the brain with few serious side effects. I do, however, have some experience with the latter. It is categorically a “disorder.”

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[distractedmomma]

Shutterbug, I love the lawnmower example!!! Now, I just have to read it over and over until it sticks to my memory, so I can actually use this example with friends and loved ones.

WGreen, well after reading that excerpt, I feel a bit better. I turned out pretty good considering how much the odds were against me.

I’ve been wondering if my life would have been different if I had been diagnosed sooner and I’m not sure. I was such a proud young woman. I doubt I would have accepted any form of medication or even the thought of having a mental itllness. I’ve been diagnosed with depression a few times already, but it took years for me to finally accept that medication was needed in some cases.

This being said, I think being diagnosed in my twenties could have gone either way. I could have gotten the help I needed to get through university without the acting out, excessive drinking, risk taking, etc. Or, I could have looked at the statistics and said to myself “may as well do it, the stats say I will most likely anyways”.

I was so depressed in my late teens and twenties that I have no idea how I would have reacted to this type of info. Relief, Shame, Fear, Anger are only some of the feelings that would have surfaced during this already difficult time.

Now, I’m a mom. I have others who depend on me. I owe it to them to do the best I can to learn about ADHD and how to live a fuller life regardless… Yeah, I think the timing was right for me to find out about my ADHD.

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[distractedmomma]

Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place. This is the only place I feel comfortable writing lately. I haven’t started treatment yet and my symptoms are really bad lately (due to lack of sleep and increased stress)

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[kc5jck]

As I have become more educated about ADHD, I have gone from “I have managed to dodge a bullet”, to “this had been mildly annoying”, to “this has really had an impact on just about all areas of my life.” I don’t believe anyone with ADHD gets a pass. Some cope better, some are more “successful”, but all are impacted whether they realize it or not.

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[Robbo]

Good point Shutterbug, how many real experts can there possibly be?, we’re all freaking affected differently by this thing. The ones like myself: diagnosed just after I turned 47, I’ve had a long life of a wide variety of very different and complex trauma. I have chronic pain. I used to have severe depression, I was given the wrong medication. Many of us were misdiagnosed. SSRI’s cut down how much I felt my feelings. In hindsight I can see how I was hypomanic for years. It was the lesser of two evils. “Evils” sounds more dramatic than it actually was. But dramatic is how I experienced life… Not to mention the fact that I’ve spent more than half of the last 16 years fighting just to survive all the unknown complications that came with my spinal cord injury. I’m starting to see how PTSD may be a bigger part of my mix of struggles than I ever have in the past. I’m in therapy again, and the questions she asks are uncovering some real horrible memories.

So yeah, sometimes I think people on all those daytime shows are dicks. That’s a lil harsh, I know. Only a few days ago I watched about 10 minutes of his show though! lol. He mostly caters to women and that’s not a crime, I just can’t relate. I also agree that what he primarily does is entertain people. It’s daytime TV, they primarily sell soap! lol. Not being judgmental is difficult. That’s a big part of what people do in social conversations. Maybe that’s a part of why I tend to just roll away when people are talking. I’m interested in other stuff. Most people’s opinion of other people ends up being exactly wrong.

I have no bumber stickers, if I get one it will be one of those “kill your television” ones. My TV is on, just for the background noise… I only have cable for PBS mainly. There’s a great song by Red Hot Chili Peppers called kill your television. The lyrics hit the spot perfectly. It’s not heavy metal. have a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Myft0EkYo2U This is a good recording. Or just read the lyrics I copy n pasted.

Throw away your television


Time to make this clean decision

Master waits for its collision now


It’s a repeat of a story told


It’s a repeat and it’s getting old 



Throw away your television 


Make the break big intermission 


Recreate your supervision

now
It’s a repeat of a story told


It’s a repeat and it’s getting old 



Renegades with fancy gauges 


Slay the plague for it’s contagious 


Pull the plug and take the stages 


Throw away your television now 



Oy oy oy 



Throw away your television 


Take the noose off your ambition 


Reinvent your intuition now


It’s a repeat of a story told


It’s a repeat and it’s getting old 



Renegades with fancy gauges 


Slay the plague for it’s contagious 


Pull the plug and take the stages 


Throw away your television now 




Throw away your television


Salivate to repetition


Alleviate this ill condition now 



It’s a repeat 
It’s a repeat 


It’s a repeat 


It’s a repeat 


It’s a repeat

Riding that lawnmower sounds excruciatinigly painful! I have a power wheelchair that cruises along at about 8 mph. For a wheelchair that’s real fast!. It’s a recliner, I pop wheelies and get sideways. Do donuts in the dirt etc. Rarely, these days, but when I first got it the novelty of it was fun. I’ve been doing great for years not speeding in my car. There are some great mountain roads here in Ca. though. I’ve only been in one car accident in my life. 2 speeding tickets. Both were speed traps. (Lazy cops sit out of site where pretty much every one speeds, collecting money for a few days…) When I was a carpenter I used to drive up to 4 or 5 hours a day commuting to jobs all around the bay area of Ca. Not all the statistics about car accidents fit all of us. (I was checking that Barkley thing from 2002.) 10 year old research is too old IMHO. We’re all different. I prefer fast, but I do just as well driving 15 mph as 115, good sticky tires and keeping the air pressure right is important. I don’t like statistics in general. I can’t stand it when people try to put me into any box of any kind EVER!. I can’t think of a more cruel thing to do to a human being than pass judgement.

Never do that!. Unless you enjoy being wrong.

I got hit from behind while stopped at a red light sitting on my motorcycle. So yeah!… I pay attention and keep my eyes on the F’ing road and my mirrors, and I do head checks. No sudden lane changes etc. I never want to be responsible for taking away the life I used to live from anyone… all in all I’d rather be me than that 16 yr. old in a pickup truck that nailed me.

I wonder how different our lives would have been if diagnosed earlier Momma?. I try not to spend much time there though. It’s onward and foreword for me. I won’t tell you that’s easy. Our mind travels back into the past in a heartbeat if we’re not paying attention to our own thinking. I wish I could remember who it was that talks about Mindfulness. I’ll use google to search this site n find out… BRB. Here’s the link, http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2737 I don’t like that page cuz I talk so dang much on it. Guess I need to give myself a break huh?. BTW, it’s not a crime to skim through a persons posts. I know that there are a few people that do get helped by my long posts. I’m done with feeling unhealthy shame. Mostly. There is such a thing as healthy shame. Humility for example.

I’m pretty sure it’s Ipsofacto that talks a lot about mindfulness. Click on “member” in blue under his name for more info on mindfulness. It’s really about getting “centered”, or in other words, just staying in the now. There’s a ton if info on the page I put the link to about mindfullnes. Try some meditation. I’ll go ahead and do my morning meditation just as soon as I’m done posting this. On that page I posted a link to, I talk some about meditation and how it helps us to remain mindful.

Have an excellent day okay?

Peace.

8-31-12

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[Robbo]

I was gonna shut down my computer after a long nap. Had to save and close the text file of my last post here (above) but felt wrong about being hard on Dr. Oz.. I’m in the habit of editing, re-checking, and editing some more when I write. Good advice I got here. He’s actually not all that bad. I’ve taken notes watchen his show, 10 min here, 7 min’s there, a few times, until the commercials come and I change the channel. He covers a lot of info. At the end of the show his “in case you missed it” part is good. It’s TV in general and the selling of not just soap, but endless cures, crap, and treatments for everything under the sun these days that I don’t like, lawyers advertising big pay days for those of us that had disabled children because of the medications we’ve all taken. Massive doses of fear to keep us popping more of the same chemicals. I wrote more, but saved all that for my journal.

I’ve managed to stop the cycle of dysfunction we pass from generation to generation, accept for the genetic stuff, and the damage inflicted by the toxins in our air, water, and food. I worry, but don’t all parents?. That’s the job. I’m proud of my kid, and the fact that I encouraged her much more than my family was able to encourage me. I have no idea what it feels like to feel the close family bond people talk about. I was an insect in a house full of reptiles. I’m happy to be alive, sometimes I still miss the danger. The thrill of all consuming terror. Impossible to articulate. I still crave flirting with the danger of the sea. The deep blue green oblivion. Escape. Freedom at last.

The truth Wgreen shares, 10 years old or not is about my family: all the odds I’ve beaten have left me with a bewildering mix of PTSD, fear, arrogance, and spiritual pride: the worst kind of pride. But I know now, that God has no favorites. “Chosen” is a word grossly missunderstood. Some of us just have dumb luck. I stopped believing in karma many years ago.

I wrote endlessly about the dysfunction of growing up in a family infected with all the ADHD related co-morbid frailties. But cut my rant just short of shaming my family and my self any further for no good reason other than bragging about my survival.

Getting back into therapy has scraped up more bits of crud from the bottom of the stock pot that is my life. So it’s back into the mosh pit. God help me, my faith is my only hope.

Thanks for the help gang.

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[kc5jck]

Robbo – your post, that is your assessment of daytime TV, got me to thinking. In general, you’re correct. Much is just crap entertainment. Even stuff that starts out quality (?) such as, say, Dr. Phil ends up being like the Jerry Springer show. I think Oz is a good cardiologist, but not an ADHD specialist. I suspect he, or his producers, decide to include a segment about some subject and there is a quick “schooling” and research to verify facts. Undoubtably, considering the format of his show, the information, if not on the most elementary level, will have an increasing chance of inaccuracys as it becomes more in depth. But I think he does what he goal is which is to get people thinking.

OZ does seem to have a good show, for its format, and as you rightfully point out, is directed mainly towards women.

And better to be an insect in a house full of reptiles than a mouse. 😯

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[Scattybird]

Kc –

“OZ does seem to have a good show, for its format, and as you rightfully point out, is directed mainly towards women.

And better to be an insect in a house full of reptiles than a mouse.”

Well kc – hope you’re not skating on ‘thin ice’ here!

I have never seen OZ so can’t comment, but if it’s anything like the day time TV that is imported from the States to the UK then I agree it’s junk.

To say it’s junk is one thing but to intimate that’s because it’s aimed at women is ….well….. I haven’t my meds today so will refrain from what I was going to write. Wow – so I resisted an impulse unmedicated! Horrah! Progress!!!

Anyway, back to the point – these programmes are aimed at the lowest common denominator and trust me that’s not women! The reason that Robbo can’t connect with these shows is because he’s got more intelligence than that required for them. Incidentally so do most women!

The only difference between men and women is that we have the strength to cope with period pain, PMS, child care, running a house and often holding down a responsible job all at the same time as dealing with other issues such as ADHD etc.

So…this ‘reptile’ bites….

Don’t worry kc – love you really!

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[ipsofacto]

Scatty, Day time TV in the US is mainly still aimed at the traditional housewife. Kc was just reflecting on the way it is. Most TV in the US is dumbed down, and that’s what the audience has been led to expect. This reflects the commercial imperative that the US TV industry is based on. People in the UK may moan about the cost of the BBC, but it’s influence on public expectations for the educational value in program content has reigned in the crass commercialism that would have otherwise prevailed.

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[Scattybird]

ipsofacto – don’t worry I wasn’t ‘having a go’ at kc – just teasing really although there might be a point to discuss?

But on saying that, even you are saying it’s aimed at the ‘average housewife’ and most US TV is dumbed down. Why should ‘the average housewife’ and ‘dumbed down’ be related? I know plenty of men who enjoy dumbed down TV. But again – I’m just musing on something I haven’t seen so have no right to comment really.

I agree that we should be grateful for the BBC in the UK. The commercial stations churn out complete rubbish most of the time and their programmes are dumbed down whether daytime or evening showings. It’s quite depressing to watch really – there must be more to life than constant game shows but apparently not anymore.

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[Robbo]

Fortunately it’s all thick ice around here JMHO. Most of the news I watch is on PBS: BBC World News America, PBS News hour, n Charlie Rose. Maybe too much lately, with the middle East coming apart so quickly. A little local news now and then. Until the idiot box starts throwing commercials at me. When I had extended basic I watched more of the BBC news. it’s better TV. Now I know why, thanks Ipsofacto. And I really like Katy Kay too. what a doll

I worked on that post 6? hours ago for probably more than 3 hours. Just couldn’t get what I wanted to say right. Too much crap getting dug up by my new therapist maybe. The last 11 months has been a wild ride for me. Never ending forgiveness… I’m just not happy on this planet, yet.

I’m sure Dr. OZ is a good doctor, I’ve watched enough little segment to put that together. I’m just not female. Women are good at certain things and men are good at certain things. 98% of his studio audience is women. What that means depends on anybody’s perspective. I’m done making judgments about that.

There is no superior sex, I know that for sure. Kids need both a mom and a dad. I’ve been a single parent, so I got a little bit of a taste of what it’s like for some women. Just one kid, and she’s doing well. In fact she’s incredibly kind and patient. Imagine listening to me on the phone!… yep, she’s patient.

The differences between men and women are ENDLESS. Don’t get me started on that mystery. Are there any experts on this?

It’s a crazy world and we’re all under pressure. I have no real idea what it’s like to be a woman and no woman has a clue what it’s like to be me. Learning to understand each other is what makes the relationships interesting. Make sense? I know this, I’ve been in love with several awesome women. Hopefully I’ll get some sanity before the next miss right comes around.

And I just decided not to post the second half of this craziness.

Sorry about hijacking your thread distractedmomma. I hope you find more help here. It takes more than a month and a half to sort out the can of worms that ADHD is. This place is a huge database of ADHD info and experience. You’ve got tons of choices for help. Explore, read, watch the video’s. Get some of those books. It got worse before it got better for me. But it happens different for each of us.

Bye you guys… I’ll be back, later.

Peace.

I may be an insect, but I ain’t no termite!

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