Re: Dad ADD too?

[Anonymous]

Thanks MerryMac.

Re my father’s sensitivity to noise –

He would have the TV on full blast, all day – I now know, to cover up other sounds. If there was somebody talking (even in the next room) he’d angrily “shhhh!!’, then go back to reading – in front of the cranked TV. The sound of clanking silverware seemed to particularly trigger him, so mealtimes were always accompanied by blaring TV or radio – and Dad’s monologues, as he also found it impossible to listen to anybody else speak, it seemed.

I sometimes start feeling a measure of pity for the bare-wires hell his own head must have been, but then I remember being constantly bullied and humiliated for being “oversensitive” and “selfish”, and all my sympathy disappears. I brought this up at a support group once and was told I should be more ‘forgiving’ (“or it’ll eat you up inside”) and ‘compassionate’ (“imagine how bad it must’ve been for him”.) – perhaps because everyone else in the group were parents themselves? (After my horrible experience of family life I’ve stayed childless way into middle age and will probably remain so.) I felt invalidated and never brought it up again.

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