Re: Dad ADD too?

[Anonymous]

Hi Green

I am ADHD and I think both my mother and father were as well.

My mother was very sensitive to ANY sounds and used to go nuts! She also suffered from terrible rages that seemingly came up out of nowhere. She also became an alcoholic, but had all of these behaviors before the booze.

My mother passed away when I was young, but the emotional baggage stayed.

I read books from the library on alcoholism, toxic parents, mentally ill parents, etc etc..anything I could get my hands on.

Eventually, I wrote everything out that I felt. I kept writing and writing and writing. Days, nights, weeks…I kept writing..it just poured out.

I cried, felt sorry for myself, hated my mother, got exhausted and thought it was a bottomless pit.

Then there was no more anger and grief left.

Then ripped it all up and threw it away. It was extemely cathartic.

My advice is to find a way to purge yourself of these feelings in private. Get it out in a safe way..in a safe environment. Writing worked for me. You could also speak to a mental health professional about it. Why do it alone when you can have help?

There are also really excellent books about toxic parents and how to deal with them.

I have members in my family who are very toxic to me and I choose not to speak to them. I don’t agree that in all cases you must still maintain a connection with someone who treats you negatively because you are related to them. I ask myself…….

‘If this was a friend or stranger, would I allow this person to treat me like this?’

I think that just because you are related to someone doesn’t give them carte blanche to treat you in an abusive way.

However, I share a lot of the traits that my mother had. I try to be very aware of NOT responding like she did.

In some warped way, going through all that crap with her has made me more aware of those negative traits in myself similar to hers that I need to be aware of. And control if I want to lead a happy life.

I hope this helps..keep us posted!

: )

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