Re: Dealing with Disbelief

[Anonymous]

I like to ask them what they are basing their statements on. Force them to defend THEIR claims instead of letting them make me defensive. In my experience you can spout all the evidence in the world but will rarely succeed in changing someone’s opinion if you’re doing it defensively. On the other hand, when you ask them what they are basing their claims on it forces them to THINK about what they are saying. At that point they will either:

1) admit that it is a baseless opinion

2) spout some over-used cliche’

3) or they will cite some actual sources that are or appear legitimate

When faced with number one I point out they are doing the very thing that Doctors are accused of doing when diagnosing ADHD: jumping to baseless conclusions without taking the time to look at the evidence. I then ask if they want some scientific facts.

When faced with number two I usually continue to ask them to be more specific, again forcing them to THINK about what they are saying and not just parrot back what they have heard. If they continue to be vague and general in their answers I force them to be more specific until they have to admit they don’t know (see number one) or they make a specific allegation. When the allegation becomes specific enough I will cite hard facts and sources I can back up.

When faced with number three you have to have the evidence to back up your claims and/or to show the faults in their sources. The sources usually come down to legitimate sounding claims that have been disproved (like Scientologist’s claims), claims from non-scientific or non-reputable studies (like those used to sell products on infomercials), claims from scientific studies that were lacking controls or large enough sample groups (lending themselves to bias or statistical anomalies), or legitimate controlled studies the results of which are taken out of context; or contradict the vast majority of other legitimate studies; or are too new to draw definitive conclusions. Fortunately, you won’t be faced with number three very often but it is always good to have your sources ready. Dr. Charles Barkley is always a great source. He is the foremost scientist researching adult ADHD today and there are a lot of videos and articles by him available on the internet.

Never try to defend against baseless generalities. If someone is touting feelings or cliches as evidence and they cannot see the problem with that, then they are being irrational and are not interested in facts. Your evidence will bear no weight with them and trying to change their minds will just aggravate you. Just walk away.

WW

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