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I’m so sorry to hear this and I understand your hurt.
A friend of mine died of cancer at 14 years old. I didn’t visit her when she disappeared from school for the last time.
You’d think I’d have learnt my lesson. No.
I lost a dear friend’s address just after I moved house too so wrote to her old one with a return address on it, several times, hoping she’d get my mail. She never wrote back and I fear the new people just binned the letters. She died at 24 years old and I didn’t even know she’d been ill. It had been 2 years since I’d lost her address.
I kept not getting round to writing to another, house bound, friend and eventually the letters stopped and she disappeared. I believe she lost her fight with anorexia and I hadn’t been there to support her.
A decent person would make sure they never let someone down like that again, right?
Well, not me.
I have a friend I have known my whole life. We were born 2 weeks apart and knew each other from being babies together. Despite living many miles apart as adults we managed to keep in touch. He wrote regularly and I replied more often than the mails actually made it to the post. Email helped but eventually I didn’t respond often enough but he always sent me a Christmas card even if it had been months and months since he’d heard from me. We saw each other about 3 years ago and he told me he had a brain tumor.
I haven’t heard from him for the last 2 years and I can’t track him down.
I can’t tell you the amount of friends I’ve lost because I just don’t call back, even though I want to, or I lose their addresses that were on scraps of paper screwed up in some pile that ends up in the bin.
I’d do anything for anyone. I had a friend phone me from 4 hours drive away to tell me that there was a mouse in her cupboard and she was scared, could I help? I was there 4 and a half hours later. With a young baby in tow. Another friend needed somewhere to stay but she was going to arrive at 3am – I stayed up to greet her. I’m someone people call to ask to look after their kids because they know they’ll be well looked after and the kids will have a great time.
But this stuff? Even though I KNOW how important it is? Well, I just don’t do a good enough job and that’s something that has broken my heart at times.
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