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Re: Do we tend ot be loners?

Re: Do we tend ot be loners?2012-02-22T04:26:49+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? Do we tend ot be loners? Re: Do we tend ot be loners?


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I agree with you Robbo! As I read the experiences of others on this site, it sometimes feels as if I am looking in the mirror! I would say I am loner as well. While growing up, I got picked on a lot. It did not matter what setting I was in. Church, integrated school, non integrated school, family settings, hanging in the hood on the block you name it. Even with though this happened , I still managed to learn how to talk with people. I have no problem in large gatherings and speaking with strangers that don’t know me. In fact its easier talking to strangers. I’m often the person that breaks the ice, and throw out interesting topics to get everyone talking. I often talk too much. But when it comes to establishing long term relationships, I don’t do that to well at all. I’m always gauging and assessing how people are feeling. I believe this can get in the way when your trying to develop long lasting friendships. I love to travel and see new places and things. I love to people watch. My favorite place to do this is a diner type setting like Steak n Shake, The Waffle House and places like that. I’ve bee to college, traveled in the Army Reserves, and worked for several fortune 100 companies spent most of my life in church and have been a member of three very large churches. I have some friends that I got close with from all these places, but in general my friendship dynamics are nothing like what you see on The King of Queens. The closest buddies I have are my brothers, and we communicate maybe once a month. For the most part, I am OK with living this way. Not having a lot of friends for sure will limit the amount of drama in your life. But there are times when I wish I had more. I am really bad for calling my close friends or brothers when I have something to talk through and need advice. Even I know that real friends try to reach out not just thinking about themselves all the time. I must admit, being this way is somewhat selfish, even if its not intended. And now that I know have ADHD, it helps me the realize when I’m being just that. The Bible says a person must show themselves friendly in order to have friends, and this is true. I think deep down inside, know one wants to be alone, God said it was not good for man to be alone. So since we know what causes us to be loners, for those who really want friends, all we have to do is recognize what makes us repel people away from us, try as best as we can to control it, and we can have a friend or two. The good thing about having ADHD, is that I can assess when someones heart is really genuine or operating from another agenda.