Do we tend ot be loners?

[Anonymous]

lol…I’m even alone here

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[trashman]

hi, not alone just maybe a little impatient.

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[trashman]

we are always loners from what I think it’s because even if we are the life of the party people just don’t get us,so they get bored and turned off with us very quickly .so we go from being a pleasure to be around to a pain in the ass .

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[Anonymous]

for me, it depends. I can be extremely social (sometimes in a very obnoxious way) or happy not to speak to another human being for days. hyperfocus- cannot break away for social and often ignore my phone. lazy- well too lazy to make plans. don’t feel like answering my phone. overwhelmed- too bogged down with details and planning to want to coordinate activities/ overthinking= social anxiety. bored- yes yes social. edgy- yes, must get out and do activity to get out energy.

I do best when I plan ahead for activities.

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[Anonymous]

Funny because I have worked in sales, waitering, customer service, I can be verry good in communicating. Yet, when I look back I just cant stand people sometimes. It’s like if I do it by obligation and am pretty good at dealing with people, good listener and I think I’m quite sociable, however I try to avoid dealing with people. It’s unconscious i guess, but i see it. I will never ask some clerck for help or bother a stranger for the time or what not.

Even with my wife who is great….sometimes i need some time alone to wind out.

I bike alot, and it helps, a couple of hours alone, in your thoughts.

yes i guess i am a loner

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[billd]

Here’s what the doc said that recently did all my testing – the “loner” part is me, not really ADHD, although it’s compounded by it because to compensate, I avoid people.

He said bluntly – I don’t connect to or form bonds with people and often prefer to be alone, although not to an extreme, I still need the interaction.

(basically, no, I could not TRULY be a hermit by myself, or living in the north of Canada where there’s no phone, no Internet, and there might be one person every 6 months, but, I don’t like crowds, and LOVE my alone time when I want it, and don’t form close bonds)

He said that was my personality, I was born with it.

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[Anonymous]

wow so this place has been a savior….im so much like some of you…sadly im not a loner most of my life until i figured out i annoyed the hell out of ppl …lol but i was always bubbly, laughing, and hated being alone loved having friends and moving and doing something with someone…but then when i got made fun of and most got annoyed bc i spoke too much and didnt pay attention as some of you said…ID LITERALLY SIT AND BE LIKE ….they were talking blah blah(charlied brown) wahh wahh and then id be like ok now i can talk bc their lips stopped …thenn….my mouth opened and it was like pressure speech/talking without gasps of air…..im guess like billd said adhd which is me talks excessivly but i am moody at times but for 90 of time im bubbly and laughing and always joking…as i grew up i learned to laugh at myself bc least someone was and i grew with my disability bc always knew i was different just never truely diagnosed till i really was going insane not being able to sit….

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[Robbo]

Holy moley, what a find! I can’t wait to read all this, it will help break down my Ego.

Heck I thought I invented loneliness, I’m the original Lone Wolf!…. (nah, I just made that up actually, it’s bull shit)

I’m working on a reply to this thread http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2227 That answers this question really well. For me at least. I’ve always been a loner because of my Ego.

Sat 2:11 pm 2/18/12

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[Anonymous]

I agree with you Robbo! As I read the experiences of others on this site, it sometimes feels as if I am looking in the mirror! I would say I am loner as well. While growing up, I got picked on a lot. It did not matter what setting I was in. Church, integrated school, non integrated school, family settings, hanging in the hood on the block you name it. Even with though this happened , I still managed to learn how to talk with people. I have no problem in large gatherings and speaking with strangers that don’t know me. In fact its easier talking to strangers. I’m often the person that breaks the ice, and throw out interesting topics to get everyone talking. I often talk too much. But when it comes to establishing long term relationships, I don’t do that to well at all. I’m always gauging and assessing how people are feeling. I believe this can get in the way when your trying to develop long lasting friendships. I love to travel and see new places and things. I love to people watch. My favorite place to do this is a diner type setting like Steak n Shake, The Waffle House and places like that. I’ve bee to college, traveled in the Army Reserves, and worked for several fortune 100 companies spent most of my life in church and have been a member of three very large churches. I have some friends that I got close with from all these places, but in general my friendship dynamics are nothing like what you see on The King of Queens. The closest buddies I have are my brothers, and we communicate maybe once a month. For the most part, I am OK with living this way. Not having a lot of friends for sure will limit the amount of drama in your life. But there are times when I wish I had more. I am really bad for calling my close friends or brothers when I have something to talk through and need advice. Even I know that real friends try to reach out not just thinking about themselves all the time. I must admit, being this way is somewhat selfish, even if its not intended. And now that I know have ADHD, it helps me the realize when I’m being just that. The Bible says a person must show themselves friendly in order to have friends, and this is true. I think deep down inside, know one wants to be alone, God said it was not good for man to be alone. So since we know what causes us to be loners, for those who really want friends, all we have to do is recognize what makes us repel people away from us, try as best as we can to control it, and we can have a friend or two. The good thing about having ADHD, is that I can assess when someones heart is really genuine or operating from another agenda.

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[Author]

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