In those books like men are from mars and women from venus is a thoughts of how one could establish a good conversation pattern…
– Firstly when you klnow you cant in any kind of way to interact to partners thoughts and those naggings well one should be true to and say.. (kind of) “Honey.. i surely aint in the mood to listen but after this (tv-show, laying in the sofa-moment..) i will klisten what you have for me to say..”
– Secondly when you just are in the mood of bursting out.. try really hard to count to ten or even more… it is hard.. but if you can do it then say.. say in certain way that sentence.. “Sorry but i can’t have conversation with you now or i will hurt you by saying something i wouldn’t like to say..”
– Thirdly.. learn to write messages to your loved ones… IN PAPER.. because then it is by the pen and your minds work combined when you dfo it so… It is much warmer way to say i do care what you have in mind.. when it is more personal all the way…
Have i done those in my late ex-relationship… well i certainly did it in the first year.. maybe even second.. but after that i certainly realized that getting truths everryday and in the sense of “You aint but worthless bum (in ones mind it truned so)” i couldn’t but lash back or try to be hard.. really hard in spirit so that i could keep myself intact..
It wasn’t nice towards the other but that relationship was ruined already when i started to bring myself up…
To share the duties… to share the pain of duty.. well now i’m on my own flat.. i surely am now to be more independent.. to have new friends and so on…
There is the way of letting go.. thre is also the thing of none more.. but one has to see what has been one’s own share which one hasn’t been complying to…..
Or something like..