Emotional Rollercoasters

[Anonymous]

Anyone out there have intense peaks and valleys in their relationships?

Not the regular…… ‘I’m-mad-at-you-because-you-didn’t-take-out-the-garbage’….. but the

‘I can’t take this anymore and I’m moving OUT!’…. Because of not taking out the garbage??????? I want to run out the door!

Then one day later…………everything seems to be fine??

Everything else seems to be manageable to a point but………… relationships???

Oi!

Anyone else do this????????

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[Patte Rosebank]

All the time. Remember, we don’t seem to have an “in-between”. Everything for us is either a “0”, or cranked up to an “11”.

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[Anonymous]

*blush*

Yeah, I know but it’s getting OLD!

I’m getting OLD!

*laugh*

How do you be in a relationship and be ‘normal’ about it?

I get the ‘fight or flight’ thing happening and all I want to do is to run away with the circus!

Any suggestions???????

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[Anonymous]

In those books like men are from mars and women from venus is a thoughts of how one could establish a good conversation pattern…

– Firstly when you klnow you cant in any kind of way to interact to partners thoughts and those naggings well one should be true to and say.. (kind of) “Honey.. i surely aint in the mood to listen but after this (tv-show, laying in the sofa-moment..) i will klisten what you have for me to say..”

– Secondly when you just are in the mood of bursting out.. try really hard to count to ten or even more… it is hard.. but if you can do it then say.. say in certain way that sentence.. “Sorry but i can’t have conversation with you now or i will hurt you by saying something i wouldn’t like to say..”

– Thirdly.. learn to write messages to your loved ones… IN PAPER.. because then it is by the pen and your minds work combined when you dfo it so… It is much warmer way to say i do care what you have in mind.. when it is more personal all the way…

Have i done those in my late ex-relationship… well i certainly did it in the first year.. maybe even second.. but after that i certainly realized that getting truths everryday and in the sense of “You aint but worthless bum (in ones mind it truned so)” i couldn’t but lash back or try to be hard.. really hard in spirit so that i could keep myself intact..

It wasn’t nice towards the other but that relationship was ruined already when i started to bring myself up…

To share the duties… to share the pain of duty.. well now i’m on my own flat.. i surely am now to be more independent.. to have new friends and so on…

There is the way of letting go.. thre is also the thing of none more.. but one has to see what has been one’s own share which one hasn’t been complying to…..

Or something like..

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[Anonymous]

I keep this stuff under my hat and don’t do anything but it’s like riding a team of wild horses and trying to act ‘normal’ at the same time.

I know it’s just me, just the way I am etc. etc. and it will pass but..what a drag! I’m getting tired of it.

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[Anonymous]

Merry Mac I know what you mean. It feels like your riding a team of wild horses but don’t know when they might start bucking and how hard, and if you’ll get trampled this time or will someone else

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[Anonymous]

I’m feeling pretty down. Went to see the ADHD Dr to get a diagnose I know I have it it runs in the family. He wanted to talk to my mother and I got upset because my mother who has adhad herself was never home working all the time and we ran the roads.My mother never talk to the school teachers and back then they were aloud to hit you if you didn’t sit still . So I found three report cards and one just mentioned behavoir problem. But I would get the strap and it wouldn’t be on my report or they didn’t phone home. We moved all the time the work I did education wise was on my own like my reading problems. We would move all over Canada in a school year. The Dr is just looking at my school year but I left home at 14 going on 15. It isn’t like today when a kid has a problem the parents were notived. Back then the teacher’s took control over the kid. And believe me at times I would hide my hands from getting the strap bacause it ment maybe the strap again. I’m 53 and finaly taking a drug for this feeling pretty good the one Dr put me on the other Dr wants testing and he won’t put it through unless the report cards indiacate a problem. I’m worried this is the first time in my life I stayed home for four days beause I’m not has hyper. I’m seeing that maybe I can make something out of myself. But if this Dr dosn’t see behavorial on the report card the meds might be taken away. all the confussion will come back.

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[Anonymous]

Clamdigger, hang in there. Your can definately make something of yourself. ADHD people are very creative people who have the ability to think outside-the-square. We can see things in a way others can’t. Make sure you’re seeing a really good Dr with experience in this area. Once you get the meds worked out I’m sure you’ll be fine.

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[Anonymous]

I read my post and I’m all over the map repeating myself sorry guys. Scatter mind scatter thought and writting. I was told that I give a big story just to get a point across. i’m trying to be more direct but I really notice here first time writing about things. You keep everything bottle up and I can really see by what I blogging when I get on here I have dirarea of the mouth. I can really see what people have been saying over the years.

I know I have to fix things about myself but this is the first time I have been able to say what I’m feeling at that moment. And it makes me feel like someone might listen and i don’t feel so alone with all this. Clamdigger

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[Anonymous]

Clamdigger….you’re definitely not alone with this. I’m 48 and I just got diagnosed a few weeks ago although I knew I had ADD for quite a few years now (not on meds yet though). I just couldn’t find a doctor that knew anything about it. I felt as though I was treated like a kook for just asking the doctor for help. Finally, I went to an ADD coach in Oakville and she gave me some references for doctors / psychologists who knew what to look for.

Funny thing is for me, the diagnosis didn’t make me feel better at all. I had read in lots of books and many online sites that claim a diagnosis of ADD lifted some of the weight. I guess I’ve just had too many years of screwing up not achieving my goals and now I’m jaded. Now I’m afraid to make any goals. As I get older, it seems to get worse and now I just can’t seem to get myself to do anything. It’s entirely frustrating for both myself and everyone around me. Most of the time it feels like I have two personalities. Unfortunately, the one that seems to be in charge is a lousy manager. It’s like being an outside observer of myself. I know intellectually the right things to do, but I seem to have no control over my actions. I can’t count the number of times I’ve thought “I really shouldn’t do that,” only to notice shortly after, “oh crap, I’m doing it anyway.” If it wasn’t ruining my life, it would be funny.

I’m looking forward to going on some meds and I have an appointment later this month to discuss that. I really don’t know what to do if the meds don’t help because I’m all out of ideas and options after that.

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[Patte Rosebank]

Meds are like training wheels, to help you make the necessary behavioural changes in order to function better.

The tough thing about them is that the only way to find which one works best for you is through trial-and-error, and that’s often a long, frustrating process. But when you do find the right one(s), it’s wonderful!

Me, I thought I’d found the right one, but it didn’t last. Now, I’m trying a different med, and trying to find a new psych, since mine was so swamped with patients that he actually had to drop a whole bunch of them…including me.

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[Anonymous]

That sucks new Dr I always hate going down that road. The meds do help but like you said it is not a cure all. I have my appointment for the Dr taking me off the meds. And I just got everything lined up for getting my g.e.d last night i could hardly do my work and that is on meds.

I have a feeling it is going to get worse. No meds.

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[Anonymous]

this post has me intrigued for a few reasons.

1) i recently got out of a long relationship that ended for reasons similar to this. it was all highs and a sparse lows, but the last few peaks and valleys were too much for either of us (read: me) to fix. it used to be where a low would be fine the next day because she was (so i think/thought) relatively understanding. its been several months and i still can’t figure out whether or not it was me or her. she says it was her (and this is honestly the first time i ever questioned her honesty). without trying to toot my own horn, it had to have been her because (coming from someone with adhd) i had never invested as much time, energy, money, emotional energy, etc on any one thing, let alone a person. that said, i noticed how long ago this was posted and i hope things have worked out since. i know how it feels to be hanging in the balance like that and its not fun.

2) i just graduated college (!!) and am currently living with my parents as most graduates do these days. if i could move out, i would in a heartbeat because this is eeeeveryday for me. its beyond taxing. the worst part is because i was diagnosed while i was in college and this is the first time they’ve seen my “adult” habits (or lack thereof), they think this is the person i’ve become, yell, scold, threaten to kick me out, and the like. it makes the depression from 1) even worse.

i can totally relate to how you must feel and if you have learned anything over the course of the past month (aside from the other posts, of course), i’d love to hear some of the advice you followed.

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[Anonymous]

oh and @ corellamus

“Have i done those in my late ex-relationship… well i certainly did it in the first year.. maybe even second.. but after that i certainly realized that getting truths everryday and in the sense of “You aint but worthless bum (in ones mind it truned so)” i couldn’t but lash back or try to be hard.. really hard in spirit so that i could keep myself intact..”

im not sure exactly what you’re trying to say, but I think you’re saying that it was in her opinion that you were doing X?

i can’t speak for the exact situation, but as i mentioned in the previous post, I had a similar peak and valley thing with my ex as well..as we approached the valley, something similar happened (but supposedly wasn’t the direct cause) that caused my ex to want to take a break (read: break up) – she claimed X to be true, but I wasn’t seeing it. in fact, i went to a mutual friend (her friend first, too! so bias wasn’t in my favor) and he seemed to agree that it wasn’t the case.

i’m wondering if its something with having adhd..is it the frustration of dealing with someone with it? i was diagnosed AFTER we were together for over a year, so perhaps it was the “title” of having the disorder?

or perhaps its just women

but seriously, any insight on this and how to deal with the OP’s question would be great.

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[Anonymous]

Abilify has really helped me with the roller-coaster emotions.

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[Author]

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