The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Other › (Extremely long post) Overwhelmed, probably a rant of my entire life › Re: (Extremely long post) Overwhelmed, probably a rant of my entire life
Sometimes it feels like we are always being tested. Life is not easy for most of us, and we look at the other people around us that seem to just sail through life. When I read your story it reminded me that not everyone was as lucky as I was. I had two ADHD parents but they busted their carcasses to always make sure we had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. My father came from ADHD parents and he wasn’t as lucky. He was passed around the family like a family book end. A few weeks here or there was all he could really count on. His father was always out of work, blamed it on others and was physically and emotionally abusive. His mother had only been 12 when she got pregnant the first time, and had 3 kids by the time she was 19. Married to a man that was 14 years her senior. But that is what they did back in the 40’s. When my father was 13 he found my mother, and ended up living on her porch from the age of 16 until they got married two years later. He worked and went to school. He over compensated with us, and ended up getting us jobs, and spending all of his time catering to everyone in his life. My mother died 12 years ago and he has been seeking ever since.
What I am trying to say is that ADHD is a silent disease but it does not need to be the end. Now you have found a doctor who is treating this seriously. You should be looking at this as a second chance, and a new beginning with your children and getting to know yourself. If you are a drug addict or an alcoholic then there are treatments and people bend over backwards to accommodate that. But if you are addicted to chaos and acrimony you are on your own. So you need to spend a lot of time just putting the pieces of your life back together. Stop looking for others to be your solution, and stop trying to be the solution for others. Even your children only need you for a few years. Let your children know that you are there for them. But the greatest gift you can give your children is a healthy you. So follow through with what your doctors say, educate yourself about your disease and your past. Learn as much about the law that you are being charged under, become your own advocate. Enlist positive people in your life. Make it a point to be a good father to your children. Find out what makes them happy, and nurture that part of them. Encourage them not to use alcohol or drugs, because if they have a background of addiction then it is easy to fall into that path.
Continuing education comes in many forms. The local libraries and social agencies are usually the best place to start when you are looking for a new beginning. Accept your past, because nothing you can do will change it, but that doesn’t mean it has to be your future. Times are tough right now economically. That isn’t your fault. But if you have an aptitude then use it.
Finally try to find or form a support group for other people in your area who have been in abusive relationships. Listening to and telling stories may be a first step to taking control of your life back. Al-anon or the like may help you to finally put an end to the trauma of your childhood and adulthood. You need to learn to forgive your parents and former partners for what has happened. It isn’t the same as saying that it didn’t affect you, just lets you learn to let it go, and move on with your life. You owe that to yourself, and to your children. Good luck in this turbulent time in your life. Hopefully you will be able to close this chapter and start getting your life back on track.
REPORT ABUSE