The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Is It Just Me? › Feeling confused as always › Re: Feeling confused as always
Anonymous
yay!
yeah, that evening thing is quite weird- i feel like when i’m tired before bed i revert to being a tired 3 year old (which makes sense, cos i’m hyper like a 3 year old too!) i get cranky and overdramatic and spaced out and sulky and don’t wanna go to bed incase i miss something, and overstimulate myself in a futile attempt to stave off sleep, and eventually fall to bits in a heap- all that wonderful stuff.
it’s awesome how having a clear enough head while on meds, means you can actually notice that your head is getting a bit messy sometimes, instead of the messiness being the default state, and you flailing around completely ignorant of there being any other way of feeling, let alone that it is a mess. it’s even more awesome when you’re still together enough while messy that you’re able to muster your mental strength and rein yourself in and tidy it up. apparently.
i remember a few weeks into starting strattera (back when i still didn’t think it worked)….. my bf looked across worriedly to me from the drivers seat of the truck, while we were going down the highway somewhere, and asked me what i was thinking (apparently when i’m quiet, thats a dangerous sign to him- cos it means i’m thinking, and that NEVER goes in a good direction- poor boy!) and me replying “….nothing….” and sitting there openmouthed in shock for a moment, while he did a double take and looked very bemused. i’d just been staring out of the window enjoying the veiw and the sunshine on my face. there was total radio silence in my head, quite possibly for the first time ever, and i hadn’t even noticed the lack of chaos. of course, when i did notice, it freaked me right out- but in a sort of good way.
thats why other people are helpful when you’re trying to judge that stuff- we’re a bit oblivious on occasion!
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