Re: Finding direction sucks when you don't have a compass

[Anonymous]

I could have written Briochick’s comments word-for-word. I’ve burst into tears numerous times because being a jack-of-all-trade I’m “okay” at pretty much anything but never seem to be particularly GOOD at any one thing. I can ‘make it’ anywhere, but never seem to do much better than that.

At the same time, being okay at any task makes it really hard to decide what you should be your hand on career-wise. I’ve had a dozen pretty wildly different jobs (I was in the army for a good chunk), and haven’t found one that I want to ‘settle’ in… yet I really need to find something I can earn more than minimum wage doing. I’m just about done my associate’s degree (which has taken longer to earn than it should thanks to the focusing/concentration issues) and it’s time to choose where to go for the 4-year part, but I’m kinda terrified to do so. I’m 31 and it feels like whatever I choose is going to be “it” and I’m scared I’ll choose something that I’ll suck at, or more likely, get bored of after a few years. I also want to have kids in the next few years, and I’m worried about how I’m going to do that when I’m trying to start a new career of some kind.

Like Brio, I also feel “behind” — other people I went to school with have kids, a house, a major career… even my little brother has done really well for himself, and here I am still in the “college kid” rut, and quite frankly kinda confused about how to get out of it. For me it’s not the material part so much, but the pre-programmed “chapters” or steps that we’re “supposed” to achieve. I mean it’s one thing if you’re not making the steps because you’re climbing Everest or exploring the Congo, it’s another when you just feel “stagnant”. I was generally happy in the military, moving all over the world, until I suddenly started hating my actual job… now I feel like I’m in the exact same place I was when I graduated highschool — you hit this “what now?” point and feel stuck. I swap between being pretty happy at what I do happen to have, and being deeply depressed because I’m somehow failing life and stuck like a car in the mud.

I’m glad that I can sew, fix my car, paint a picture, vaccinate a cat, design a garden, layout a newspaper, plan a wedding, hit a bull’s eye at 300 yards, insulate the attic, and do CPR on a baby…. but sometimes I wish I was really, really good at just one thing and paid other people to do everything else — like most people do. I could survive the zombie apocalypse with flying colors, but normal life is confusing the hell out of me ;oP

I’m smart and talented, but what the hell do I do with it??

REPORT ABUSE