Finding direction sucks when you don't have a compass

[Anonymous]

Oh, I feel you on this one. I’ve often complained about not being amazing at any one thing.

REPORT ABUSE

[trashman]

hi i have ofen said this that i don’t know what to do. i can be good at many things , as long as its holding my intrest. if that goes iam at a loss once again. some days i feel like the mouse on the wheel. wondiring and wating to fall off.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I recently said to a friend (and this makes me sound like a complete douchebag) “I wish I wasn’t so good at so many things.” Then went on to try o explain: What I really meant is that, of all the things I can do, I wish I could focus and give my full attention to just one. I am a writer by profession (and by default) because it’s one of the few things that straps me in my seat, and, my brain makes room for it when it feels like it. Also, I can carry my work around with me (not always a good thing). I’ve had some success with my books and great reviews, but can’t help but think how much better I could be if I REALLY sat down to it. I guess I’m lucky to have identified the the thing I’m best at and made a go of it (it only took 40 years) but often wonder if I might have been really good at something else – even though writing is my dream job.

I’m hoping to get some tools to concentrate my focus, and would listen to any advice. Like a lot of you, I probably could have fared better (ie., not become a dropout) if only someone had identified my ADD when I was a kid., or just helped identify my strengths and weaknesses.

What is the best how-to-focus book, advice, strategy, ANYTHING? I take the drugs, they help but structure would be a help too, if only I knew how…

Anybody out there take Wellbutrin?

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

For me I had an extremely difficult time keeping jobs. I know repetitions absolutely drive me crazy. I think the only reason why I am locked in my current job is because I need the money. I must bring my debt and spending under control. It is an extremely difficult goal for me to accomplish but I am discovering ways toward reaching this goal. I also know once I reach the finish line I will be out of there in a flash. I am training myself to focus on the details instead of jumping to the end. Working on details of the steps involve in order to reach an objective is a difficult task for me to accomplish. This type of skill require structure and organization. They are hard but I am confident I can do it.

I had come to realize I must start taking risks in order for me to move ahead. I had written down a list of short and long term goals. How will I reach them remain to be seen.

REPORT ABUSE

[walkwithfarmgirl]

Mark s–“Hey does anybody else find it easy to do the hardest things for other people, totally rearrange your schedule but can’t be bothered to do anything for yourself? ” Totally get this–any crisis and I become the rock of Gilbraltar, but trying to get the courage to switch to an unorthodox career that I would love, well, I’ve been struggling with working well below my capacity and talents all my life.

It’s reassuring to know that I am not the only one in this world who’s like this.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I’m 56 years old, and all my life I’ve never known what I wanted to be when I grow up. I look back and my ADD has made a mockery of any career ambitions I might have had. At various times I’ve wanted to be a bus driver, an astronomer, a hockey player, a soldier, an accountant, a warehouse clerk, and so on and so on. But this past year I lucked into something that I enjoy tremendously, does not bore me to tears, and with a bit of luck and hard work looks to be something I could do for the rest of my working years. I’m the bass player for a band that plays original music in the Contemporary Christian genre. Our band has been together since last March; 2010 was our “growing pains” year, with personnel changes, etc., but we’re looking at 2011 as our “breakout” year. We’re planning on going into a studio and recording our first CD, we’ll have an Internet presence, we’ll be playing gigs both near and far, and with any luck we’ll be on our way. I’d rather be doing this than punching a clock any time!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

All awesome posts………

I now wonder what is “Next” for me. As a recently diagnosed and initially poorly treated or should I say not “hollistically” treated ADD/ADHD’R.

Please read this through as i tried to condense best I could. As a 48yr old male going on 16 I WISH SOMEONE TOLD ME (They probably did but I have and always had ADD/ADHD so it went in one ear out the other) (lol)……… OK from the gut here. I have enjoyed some of lifes greatest joys and successes but I have also succumbed to horrible failures. Yep been married 2x divorced 2x as well. Homes had up to 6 at one time, beautiful cars (Jag and Denalli SUV) , Bore 3 children adopted one and raised another till age 9. Assisted X spouse in getting her RN degree. Was able to spend some great years with a father I wish I could have spent more when I was younger. Yep I had sisters to which I wish I new better years gone by. I was able to be in careers (Businesses owned and “managed”) by significant others I loved and thrived in. Had great physical health Blah Blah Blah Everything I mention above has value. The problem is because of my ADHD which I was diagnosed with after starting my second divorce at about age 45 I did not realize fully how many “life skills” I was missing. Yep had the gold card with 50k limit but in reality I never paid one bill. Trucks, cars never paid one bill. Mortgages on multiple properties never paid one bill. When taking “care” of kids Yep took them to Drs while spouse at school and work and made sure they were OK never paid a bill. Cooked, cleaned and repaired not only my home but also assisted employees and friends the same way. Not even realizing I had ADD/ADHD I instinctively new keeping my children busy and challenged in there everyday life was making them happy and content. Cheerleading, football, gymnastics and music lessons, doing homework together. They all loved the outdoors…….. Was I the perfect parent? No! Why I never took care of myself. I knew I had faults but i was really sellfish as i did what I though was right but I was always behind the eightball… Mostly again in education…… Not necessarily because I did not have a college education but I should have trained myself to handle the simple mundain life skills ( balancing checkbook, budgets, understanding and looking at contracts and more) Crap my X had to Sched my colonosccopy and dental appointments. To be honest I never ever wanted to do any of those things I just mentioned but I should I said “I” should have been more responsible as I was more than financially able to get the proper people to “handle” the aforementioned items. But I should have as they say “signed the checks” but instead I looked at the end of the tunnels light without realizing it was a long sometimes very dark and rocky road to get to the end of the tunnel. Even though quite honestly in my head I could not wait to get to the end of the tunnel and start another Journey …… Ok why the story I here and understand many thoughts, ideas and concerns you all have and it sounds like many of you have many similar skill sets. I know it is hard trust me I know but you must take care of yourself first…… Marriage STOP what do you want from the marriage children, companionship, financial stability…… Self worth is what is important… Make sure you are happy with yourself and whatever you want in that marriage make sure you and your partner can give 100% equally. Just in case,,, well god forbid it does not work out or if something more tradgic happens where you may have to care for the person in case of serious injury … Career Heck I have to figure it out as well as I am now 48 and lost everything in divorce or shortly there after and recently became injured and now my 1 asset of physical employment is in jeopardy due to a physical injury (Hence, if i went to college years ago and completed a degree in forensic accounting maybe i would not have skipped a beat). I will say onething I am thankfull for my family as if not for them i would be out on the street… Actually still might be…… But we have to keep moving forward no matter how bleak as there is definately a silver linning … There is as I have been in many physical and emotional rags to riches situations at only 48!. Oh and lastly this Site at TOTALLY ADD is awesome and we should be thankful for it…… As with watching TV and being marketed for all the wants we need yeah right NOTT !!! Trust me you do not need another $60k SUV to travel 30 miles a WEEK! in the ever so suburban city in NJ without one hill no dirt roads and more snow plows u can imagine , 5000 sq ft home (to pay for heating and cooling of unused rooms) and clothes that will break your budget and put more “Bad” stress on you for things you really do not need. The distractions and need for instant gratification that TV and now the internet google advertising giants want you to fall victim to is probaly one of the greatest demises of todays society google ads(lol). Moderation is key while somehow realling in the strong often misdirected impulses ADD/ADHD challenge us with.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Hello all Quick follow up………. Careers… I have had many mostly contracting outdoor stuff usually very physical……. I know it is hard but check out the videos here and I hate to say it …. Think of the future along with the present. We are active people and we are not young physically forever. In todays world (global economy) it is quite apparent that we will have to maintain a level of continuous education and learning or there is a good chance we will be left behind. There is nothing wrong with finding a job/carear to pay the bills but that does not prevent you from finding a hobby that you might turn into a career later down the road. Do not put the cart before the horse…. Looking for self employment in the USA? The Small Business Administration has a great government friendly website (now that is ironic) Also alot of states have small businesss development centers …. I KNOW IT IS HARD BUT TRUST ME….. take very small baby steps…… They have many resources and they will help (not do all the work though as it would then not be fulfiling for us with ADD). . SCORE is a volunteer organization as well that will help you greatly also. We have a lot of great ideas in our minds but unless you put a “plan” ( YIKES !) together there is a greater chance you will fail and it sucks when you do.OH I hait to recomend this sight but bank of america has a video on there website on starting a business (Very simple and it might give those that have not had a business a small glimpse into what is nec. and requird to get the ball rolling) Just like hear at Totally ADD a TEAM concept works well when starting a business and if you set it up well you might be able to make money, have fun and make money…..did I say “make money”and hopefully make your mark on our society……along with making money… I did say that didn’t I YEP checked I did……. Hey maybe you can hire or even join forces with other ADDR”S and build an empire !!!!!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I’m 56 and almost feel embarassed to post this anywhere else, but reading thru these posts I feel like I should know what I want to do. I’ve done a lot of jobs well but have a hard time finding work I could enjoy and have the money to go with it. I’ve been to college several times and have been a good student, it’s not translating into a job. My 13 year old daughter has ADD and now we are trying to help her get the help she needs. So we will be moving into a house, she needs help and I need a job.

REPORT ABUSE

[billd]

Are you in the states?

What do you do – or like to do, or are good at?

Jobs are tough now, for ANYONE, but especially folks like us it seems………….. But jobs CAN be found IF you want to work and are willing to learn. (my son a sterling example)

His company is hiring……..

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

what is your son doing? A lot of jobs I used to do there are none like that here. I used to be post office clerk but there are not many mailrooms here. I have computer training but no work experience with it. And then there is retail.Ugh

REPORT ABUSE

[Robbo]

briochick

If you’re still around, how about writing? you do it well here. Is it fun for you? If it’s fun, pays “enough” whatever that means, and you feel fulfillment, then there ya go. Or have a bunch of careers. Heck, the sky is not even the limit. Pic n choose.

Fly, be free.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts