Re: Frustated with having ADD

[Anonymous]

Faequine;

For me, prior to learning about ADHD, I would often find myself on the defensive about being callled to task for being late, for instance. I couldn’t understand why I was chronically late. People would be quite derisive, as they interpreted my apparent “refusal” to be on time, as well as my “refusal” to remember apointments, dates, etc. as laziness or just not caring. From the struggles I went through inside trying to correct these things, I knew better. I would feel persecuted, and pout, thinking I should just be punctual and be a total bastard and see how they liked that. “I’m on time and I follow the rules. That’s what you wanted, so shut up.”

A bit childish and over the top, but that’s what it felt like. Yet I also noticed that when I was waiting on someone who was late, I felt they didn’t care about my time, and it could be infuriating. I had to come to the realization that what we go through is difficult for those around us.

That said, your husband is doing something that is infuriating to me, and is in my mind wrong, or at least as much as any ADHD related failing; the total exaggeration of what happened to bolster their argument. It has always bothered me when people say something to me once, but no more that two or three times, then when in an argument spout out “I’ve told you 100 times.” No, you haven’t. Also, when something happens that is annoying to them , they use the phrase “You always______!” or “You Never____!” This to me is one sided, wrong, and does not help communication. I don’t “always______” I sometimes____ and I know it’s annoying, but I also get it right sometimes as well. I’m working on it.

Obviously you have problems, as all of us here do, but from what you say, you are decidedly not the only one bringing problems to the situation. Beating people over the head with blatant exaggerations of what they’ve actually done is bad behavior, and does not help make anything better.

Keep hanging in there. They are not better off without you. You are not the only one with failings, even though you may be talked to and about as if you were.

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