Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

Re: Frustated with having ADD

Re: Frustated with having ADD2012-02-26T10:08:08+00:00

Post count: 1096

Hello Faequine

Please don’t do anything to harm yourself. It sounds to me like you are a very caring person if you are trying to change all the things that your husband finds irritating.

However, please forgive me if you think I am speaking out of turn here and this is just my perception from what I have read in your posts.

It looks to me as if your husband is mentally/emotionally abusing you. You have had ADHD all your life and even if it didn’t have a name your husband will have experienced all your quirks before he married you. He has absolutely no right to bully you about who you are now.

It might be that you are a little more quirky than usual if you are feeling stressed but you are not to blame for that.

If you can find a specialist or someone to prescribe you ADHD specific meds they might help you sort out your situation. However I think the problem needs to be solved by sorting out your relationship with your husband.

It might not be easy to do and it depends on your circumstances so you need to get advice. The others have suggested going to a woman’s shelter and I agree. The best option would be to tell your husband to leave the family home if he finds it so intolerable. Of course that might be difficult.

The key things to remember are that you are not to blame, you shouldn’t be under an obligation to change who you are, your husband is in the wrong and not you.

Please get proper support both for your ADHD and for your family life. You don’t need to deal with being bullied like that and there must be groups or associations in your area that you can approach for advice.

Good luck, be strong and brave but don’t do it on your own.

PS – since I wrote what’s above I read a previous post form you? It looks like you’re juggling a lot of responsibilities so you must be a pretty amazing person. Sit down with your husband and make sure he’s taking his fair share!! You are still young so don’t let him spoil your life.