Re: Frustrated

[Anonymous]

First of all, please don’t take it personally. He’s not doing it to hurt you or spite you. He is certainly exhibiting signs of adult ADHD which includes difficulty in focusing, prioritizing and maintaining interest.

An adult with adhd often has trouble “getting started” because they simply can’t decide where to begin. They lose focus (often in the middle of a conversation) because something else has wormed its way into the forefront of their mind. Imagine the brain like a computer screen where all of these “pop-up” ads are appearing – and the person with ADHD can’t control the pop-ups! The focus issues go two ways – they can lose focus, or they can be so interested in something that they can’t tear themselves away, not realizing how much time has passed.

You could start by having your husband take the virtual test on this site. I think the results would surprise both of you! If you haven’t done so already, you might also want to take a look at the book, “You Mean I’m not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?” – it has some very good advice on how to deal with operating an adult ADHD brain.

Remember, treatment is often a combination of things, therapy, medication and general techniques that help you get by. Your husband has probably been dealing with undiagnosed ADHD for quite some time, and that can have a heavy toll on someone. They have to unlearn and relearn – what works for most people doesn’t work for people with ADHD – we have to find new ways to accomplish the same things.

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