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Re: getting along with people …how?

Re: getting along with people …how?2011-12-22T17:06:49+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey I Don't Get People getting along with people …how? Re: getting along with people …how?


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Tea, that’s me. I had it explained to me a few weeks ago – it’s part of ADD in many ways, at least SOME forms of it, so yes, it can be due to ADD, but for those who don’t have that particular bit of ADD, it can be the result of “being different” as a child, the social outcast, etc.

In those cases, coaching, therapy, practice, etc. it might be you can get past it – or if not, at least improve.

Me, I was told by the neuro-psych that it’s attached to my ADD, I won’t be able to whip it, I can try, do better, make attempts, but it was explained it’s just how I’m going to be.

So after hearing that, should I stop trying?

Uh, no and in fact, I’m actually facing an internal fight with myself – and I think I’m winning at least a battle – I’m setting myself up for a big trip across the states to a huge gathering of car nuts. Most of these folks I will not know at all, a few I’ll know from online posts – our car forum, and a couple I will have actually met, but that’s it.

It’s a small, or maybe a big victory for me!

My youngest son who has ADD pretty bad is the opposite. He’s outgoing, tries new things, very social, he’s an expert at meeting folks, fitting in, etc. He’ll jump right into a conversation and has no trouble with small talk. So not all ADD’ers have the issue – it’s part of my ADD, but not part of his.

OTOH, no, you do NOT want to meet him, and if you do, be careful if he starts talking about business deals, needing money, etc.

So in the end, it was explained to me by the folks who know ADD as well as almost anyone I guess, is that it can be part of the type of ADD you have, (like in my case) or it can simply be a personality trait (*I know a number of NON-ADD folks who are that way) and I know ADD folks with that other flavor who are people people, and very charismatic and friendly and fun.

100 years ago, the folks with social anxiety were called the wall-flowers…….

Good post, Carrie – some great tips to remember! Ask questions that they can’t give a simple yes or no to, to avoid the silence after the 2 second answer. Get THEM talking…….

You also echo’d some of my feelings due to my own ADD issues…….

Not always caused by ADD, but can be a side effect of ADD, so worth the attempt. I’m going for it… we’ll see what happens. The simple course and what part of me is saying is “stay home, avoid the possibilities”. Hmmm. but what if some of those possibilities end up positive?