Re: Hope this is my rock bottom

[allan wallace]

Hiya Slowly, it’s an old thread I know, but I’d be interested to hear how things are going for you now…I’m older than you and unemployed by the way. It has been suggested that I’m unemployable due to my chronic procrastination and my inability to do anything right. I have a knack for fucking up the unfuckable, and even though I only aim low and go for the shitty menial jobs, I still stuff them up somehow. One day if I can be bothered I’ll discuss the time I could have killed myself whilst working at a chemical plant. All I had to do was wear safety equipment and transfer sulphuric acid from a high powered hose into about 20 large barrels….if anybody had been around that day and saw the stupidity that unfolded they would have killed me if I’d survived what eventuated. It was a miracle….gawd, just remembered another miracle. I was driving on a highway and gazing out of the window at some lambs jumping around and didn’t notice that the cars ahead had stopped. I had the radio on full blast and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt either…I only had to time to scream and by taking my hands of the gear stick and sterring wheel I covered my eyes and braced myself for a bad start to the day. Somehow the car jacknifed and I didn’t hit any other cars on the four lanes! Perhaps I’ll start a ‘miracles’ thread. There are many, many more…I had a gun pulled on me in a nightclub and I stunned the bloke by thumbing my nose at him and pretending to tiptoe cartoonlike to hide under a table. Then I winked and made a spazzy face. before breaking out some silly dance moves…this guy just didn’t know what to do 😆 I just pretended that nothing happened and then avoided that corner of the club for an hour or so… 💡

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