Holy Moly!, another long one, sheesh. I need to take a vacation from this web site.
Great picture Trashman, 
I tried blowing it up. What dies the text say?
There’s a good video by Dr. Jain here http://totallyadd.com/your-personal-strengths/ I’ve watched it probably about 4 or 5, maybe more times. I’ve had a tendency to be too hard on myself for a lot of my life. One of the worst things I can think of people saying to me is “don’t be so hard on yourself” It’s not fun to hear because it’s the painful truth. They’re right!. I’ve heard it too many times in my life.
My attitude, and my perspective make a difference in how I see ADHD. I can only see and experience mine. It’s hard work, but I see it more positive than I used to.
There’s a poll on that page with the personal strengths video that I copy and pasted the question from, and the 5 choices.
If you could snap your fingers and make your ADHD/ADD disappear, would you?
Definitely yes!
Probably yes
Not sure
Probably not
Definitely not
I always have answered Definitely not. Because overall, even though my life has not been a picnic. I have managed to squeeze a lot of adventure and happiness out of what can seem like a hard life. With the variety of human experiences that are possible on this planet; when taken in perspective, I have to say that I’ve got a lot to be grateful for. In the largest possible perspective. My life has been good. I wasn’t born in a 3rd world country and I’m not worried about where my next meal is coming from. With my attitude, I can let that exact same sentence make me feel sad, grateful, compassionate, or angry. I have more control over my attitude than I did before getting helped with my ADHD. So I’m more in control of my own happiness.
Here are the results from the poll answers from everyone here who has taken the poll. Definitely yes! (44%, 378 Votes)
Probably yes (16%, 138 Votes)
Not sure (15%, 131 Votes)
Probably not (14%, 117 Votes)
Definitely not (11%, 96 Votes)
It’s hard to remember, but I think the results have been very different in the past. I wonder if it’s possible to find out?. It could be dyslexia, but I thing I remember the results being the opposite of the results today the last time I took that poll. It does sometimes suck not having a very reliable memory. Unless I’m watching an old rerun of X-files.
I agree with ipsofacto, it’s a spectrum disorder, and an extremely wide and varied spectrum. There are no typical ADHD cases. I think it’s human nature for us to generalize about ADHD as mainly good, or bad. It’s not either. There’s a whole lot of grey area.
We have a choice, I think maybe that’s the point of this whole project. (totallyadd.com) The question mark with and exclamation point. Is it possible to have ADD and Love it?!. That’s why I call the original documentary art. Because art is open to interpretation. We all see it with different eyes, different minds, different temperaments.
For me the goal has got to be Yes!, we can enjoy it. It is possible. But it’s an extremely difficult struggle to make friends with my ADHD, and maintain that friendship. I’m kinda fed up with my ADHD tonight to be honest. If it was my girlfriend/wife, we would probably be having an argument about something stupid. But of course we’ll make up later, we are stuck with each-other after all. I can’t divorce my ADHD! Ack!. ugh…
I’ve been wanting to stay away from this site lately, maybe take a vacation. Maybe because I feel like I’ve gotten too carried away with thinking about ADHD. And in particular my ADHD. When I focus too much on myself, it hurts the way I relate to other people, my ability to have good relationships. Of course it’s not a disorder of selfishness. It’s definitely not that simple. But selfishness has been a large cause of a lot of the problems I’ve had in my life. I’ve been called selfish many times. I think it’s been true, oh maybe about 70% of the time. It’s hard to really know.
I’ll bet this one topic might be one of the most discussed and sometimes disgusting subjects/topics we spend our time analyzing. It’s going to take a very long time for me to understand this thing. I’m glad no-one considers me an expert.
I think I want to take a break.
I need some space.
LOL, so again, if my ADHD was my wife/girlfriend, I would say “I need some time alone, just need a break. I’m tired of the struggle”, I need to go surfing, or take a long drive through the mountains with just me and my car stereo. Giant redwoods, flashing past me at about 95mph, a death grip on the steering wheel as I reel through a long blind curve, adrenaline pumping full throttle.
This was hard to write, mostly because I’m tired. It’s a long strange trip we’re on. But it ain’t boring, that’s for sure!. Hopefully I’ll sleep good tonight, and dream strange dreams.
PS
After posting, I read this one last time, and realized that I accidentally clicked on Definitely yes by accident, that’s why I was puzzled about the answer being the opposite of the last couple times I took that poll. So it’s definitely no, I wouldn’t want to make my ADHD disappear. I remember clearly because I was very much the minority in the results the other times I took the poll, and that always puzzled me. Maybe I like struggle, that could be why I procrastinate, the exitement/victory of last minute barely making it on time pushing myself as close to the edge of the cliff as possible. Like catching a massive wave at the last possible second and having an enormous boiling mass of white water chase me down like… something really tiny. When you wipe out, it’s like being a spider in a toilet. Violent, powerful, turbulent, and Dark. And God decides my fate.
7-15-12
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