Mom, is that you??? Okay, joking…
In all seriousness, though, about the money thing: It sounds like a control thing, or an organizational thing. If it’s a control thing, it’s one thing he feel he can control, which in our ADHD heads, control is not something of which we have in abundance, so when we have it, we tend to go overboard.
If it’s an organizational thing. If you aren’t tracking it, it means HE has to track it, which means work. Like not a lot from where you sit, but for us, it’s HUGE. We’d actually have to get the checkbook out (‘Where the HELL is that???”), find a pencil (“Where the HELL is that???”), find a calculator (“CRIPES!!! Where’s the damned calculator? Who put all this garbage in this drawer?”) sort through the contents of the drawer (“So this thing doesn’t belong here, going to put it away in the best hiding spot ever, nobody will ever find it!” -will never be found, even by him, unless looking for something else- guess who probably put it in the drawer.), and finally, try to remember why we were in the drawer in the first place (“Crud, now what was I doing? Oh yeah, cleaning out the drawer.”), and no, we may never get it written down. Then we get yelled at for not writing it down, or we overdraft and really get the spouse AND the bank mad.
Temper is a problem with us, too. Not me. I’d *never* lose mine over tiny things. LOL! Yeah, right!!! I lose it over stupid stuff, all the time. It’s a process. I’m working on it.
Baby steps and lots of patience, but don’t let yourself be run-over. Takes a lot of patience and learning how to deal with our sort, but we’re worth it 