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Re: I HAVE ADD! *Slapping forhead* “Soar and Fail” is the story of my life.

Re: I HAVE ADD! *Slapping forhead* “Soar and Fail” is the story of my life.2010-11-30T22:36:07+00:00

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Thanks, Isitjustme! Yeah, talk about letting the air out of your tires! I heard that line a lot, too. I remember one time vividly it was after I’d placed !st in the county, and 2nd in the state speech contest. I waited til the night before to do it and my Dad, thinking he was helping, said it. He said something similar about me taking the ACT. I didn’t prepare for it and finished only half of the exam, but still scored high enough for a scholarship–just not the BIGGEST scholarship. I’m so sorry that the meds couldn’t keep working for you. I’ve been on Concerta for about a year with increasing dosages, but I expected a lot more of a positive effect and have been disappointed.

I’m sure this is a normal reaction to getting diagnosed, but I feel a little–sometimes a lot– sad and even angry about the past and the guilt and shame that’s just become part of my DNA. You said “inadequate”. That’s how I’ve felt a lot–like something was lacking in me, something other people had that made life easier for them. Some things have always been harder for me, and I never knew why. I kept thinking and even saying to people, “This is really hard for me! Surely, not everyone has this hard of a time (you could fill in the blank here) getting out of bed in the morning and getting to school/work./etc.” I was always told that I had the same struggles as every one else, so, obviously, it was that I was selfish, lazy, thoughtless, etc.

The last straw for me that led to diagnosis was struggling with juggling parenthood along with everything else. I finally realized that something had to be wrong. I know I’m a good parent. I love my children with everything I have and prayed and waited for them for years. But I still can’t get them to preschool on time. I still forget their lunch or backpack at home. I still get hyperfocused and realize I’ve been on the computer for an hour when I could’ve been playing with them. It’s NOT that I don’t care enough about them. It’s NOT that I don’t think about them all the time. It’s NOT that I don’t try hard enough to remember their lunch. ;) I knew there must be more to it. Turns out, when you look back, I’m a CLASSIC case for a woman with ADD! It’s still tough, though. I may understand why I am the way I am, but I can’t say that I like it. Not the negative traits, anyway. There are lots of positives, I know. I’ll get to those later, when I’m not throwing a pity party. ;) *Sigh*