Re: I knew there was something not quite right and I've been searching for an answer

[veronica]

dude, i’m so sorry to hijack your post here, but….

BISHOP!!! i’m so proud of you. do you remember how you were feeling about two weeks ago? http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=90 dude, what you posted here…. wow, you are so positive. *beaming with pride*

Simoski, i can see you are a “like to write/tell stories kinda guy”. you not related to my ex-step dad are you? hahahahaha, you “sound” just like him. i would say that view on this is, “At this point in my life I need to discover what it is that is preventing me from using the gifts that I have been given to provide for my family without struggle, NOW!”… you’re at an age right now where you feel very vulnerable and weak. you’re looking back on your life and all it’s failures and you are trying to come to terms with it all. it’s getting more and more difficult for you to just “get over it”.

perhaps it’s as simple as you not facing things…. not conquering the things that you’d always set out to do, but never did. b/w the ages of 28 and 32, you go through a life’s “crisis”. if you get through that, your next is in your 40’s then again in your 50’s… pretty much every time you turn a decade older. how you come out of that time in your life (where your snow globe is shaken a bit), determines how rewarding you feel your life is. it’s like that for everyone, it’s just that some people go through that time period feeling more confident… they’ve learned something, they move on… not doomed to repeat those failures, but us– it’s different.

unless we’re emotionally ready to come to terms with absolutely everything…. no time is a good time. so at this point don’t tell yourself that you need to find out what it is that is preventing you from using your gifts, but rather “am i prepared to do whatever it takes to make this cycle stop?”.

it’s a lot to deal with this “late in the game”. i believe that thought is what is actually holding you back… and is preventing you from answering the preparedness question.

ok, that was a rant.

be well.

~v

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