Re: I was just told that Adult ADHD didn't Exist….

[Anonymous]

Hi Beebster…..I guess, when faced with criticism today….I ask myself… hmmmmm…….is it valid. I should maybe have a look see if the issue or criticism belongs to the critic, or me. If the flaw is mine….maybe I’ll see what I can do to remedy that. If flaw it belongs to my critic….that’s up to them to deal with, not me. My job is to simply walk away from that….. I can’t, won’t, must not own that, it’s not good for me!! That ownership is theirs.

I view imposed perfectionism in a similar light. If the goal is not mine, but another’s, and they are trying to impose their standards, on me, I need to be mindful. Yes, I do like to do a good job, maybe even to a higher standard than I maybe should, but the standard is mine and it’s reasonable and attainable. For me, feverishly attempting to reach an unattainable standard set by another would be problematic. I see the likely-hood of existing in constant fear of failure, and stress, which would be too damaging to my self-image and self-esteem. I deserve better. I flatly reject that kind of behavior from others. I am aware, I owe it to myself to deny those people ……..access to my heart. I have learned my heart deserves better care than some others will provide it……not everybody, but some. Access scrutiny, is my job.

For me, my past experience has been a great teacher…..I don’t dwell there, but it has taught me a lot. One thing I have learned from looking at my past is that re-learning is possible, it can be very difficult…..NOT IMPOSSIBLE….but difficult. So from that, I can comfortably tell myself that, the past does not have to predict my future, I should learn from it yes…..but let it predict…..no!!

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