it doesn’t matter if you are to be with a person with or without adhd. there are a some things that matter greatly though.
one being the fact that the person is making sure to be willling & able to learn about adhd as much as they possibly can. we are by being on here, and possibly other sites as well, so they should do so also showing the effort & the ability also. another site that might be benificial to you, if you don’t already know about it, is http://www.momswithadd.com. (and it can be used with guys also!)
another, is by making sure that they are willing to accept you, (and your kids), whether they have adhd also or not. yes, it’s hard to have the patience to do so, but it can be done, but only by the ‘right’ person.
make sure to be yourself and have open and honest comunication. i have been, and i found a man not long ago, (well, to me!), who does have adhd, yet doesn’t take meds, as i do. i’m able to be myself, and am relaxed much more around him than i am around even family members and friends, as he is around me. yeah, i’ve got my prefrences, as does he, but we’re able to tell each other about those things without being ashamed about them. him and i have our ‘flaws’, but we’re helping each other out, and that’s what a person really needs within their spousal relationship.
also, make sure that you have the self-esteem to ‘stand-up’ for yourself before you even try to find anyone else. i had to learn that lesson the ‘hard way’. i had a very low self-esteem when i met my soon-enough ex, and i unfortunately fell into an emotional/control abusive relationship for 14 years. i didn’t know, (and am still learning how), to take care of myself and my children, but i know what the signs are within an abusive relationship, no matter what type. it’s hard for me to do some things without help right now, but i’m making sure that even though i was abused as i grew, and within my marriage, i’m making sure that to do what i can to have it so my children that are 2, 4, and 6 years of age, don’t go through what i did. only make sure to only get as much help that you can get from the ‘pros’ as you can handle. don’t overwhelm yourself by going ‘full boar’ with all at once. that can be worse than none at all.
if you want, go to http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/ and you’ll be able to see if you have been abused, (for both men and women!), and many aspects and actions that can go along with it.
i know that it is possible to find another who you can be with, and in a more happier way than you can imagine, so just make sure not to give up! good luck, and take care! 