Re: Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it

[Anonymous]

Whoa there Saffron, I never said she had ADD or was going ballistic.

MelissaTex said “and can get into a good, knock-down, drag-out, fight about it?” I have never seen a fight like this where there was only one person doing the fighting, it takes 2.

She also said “When you catch him doing something that isn’t just “mindless” or “thoughtless”, but outright predetermined, complete with lies to cover up. . . and he gets rip-roaring, soul-bashing, angry at YOU for having a negative emotional reaction to the perversion, betrayal, and lies?” If you have to catch someone doing something usually you are looking for it. She said that she has the negative reaction & then he fights back. If a dog bites you every time that you try take his bone away, why would you continue to try take the bone?

I did notice that she said she was avoiding him but never said she was “letting him be”. Those are 2 totally different things. The avoiding would be seen from his perspective as punishment. This will just make the next fight even worse & since she is sticking with the guy, it will make the relationship much worse than it already is. There is clearly no winner in this fight so give it up. You cannot stop his porn addiction. Things will continue to get worse until she “lets it go”.

As you pointed out, he had these problems before they got together. Why would someone who has such a low opinion of people who look at porn get into a relationship with a porn addict?

REPORT ABUSE