Re: Impulsive decisions (avoiding them?)

[Anonymous]

njadd….. Yes I am on meds, that has been very helpful, partly because my primary care doctor, is always willing to listen to me & work with me to find the best dosage for me, what works & what doesn’t. I have 2 children on meds for ADHD & a 2 year showing all the signs he may have this syndrome. I was 48 when diagnosed, how I found out, was after having 2 children diagnosed from different marriages, and finding that ADHD is genetic, I did not take an expert to tell me where it came from. It still has taken me 2 years to really start seeking to educate myself, Why? It seems that I do not try to make changes in my life until the pain of being where I am at is great enough to motivate me. The pain came for me when my marriage was about to fall completely apart. My wife & I have always had a problem communicating with each other as our marriage went on the problem got worse. When I discovered that with ADD there are communication issues that we had both not understood, we found that by discussing them we found a solution to that problem, our marriage improved dramatically in a matter of days, we are still planning on seeing a marriage counselor, if we feel this consoler is not helping, we will seek another avenue for help, we saw a marriage counselor once before, That one did not listen to what we were saying, & did not ever identify the problem, so could not help. Do I have a plan? Yes, First I have changed my attitude about ADHD, For me, ADHD is not a problem, it is part of me that can create problems or issues in my life and the lives of my family and friends if I remain ignorant about, I must learn to recognize what I can change & what I cannot, what are the things I do that compound the problems, (such as impulsive decisions),ADHD has been & can be a tremendous asset to me; what do I do that is an asset to me, (I am creative in many ways), In short I need to take an honest inventory of my life to I identify my own strengths & weaknesses. I have also had to accept this is not just about me, or my daughters ADHD, this is about my family, my friends, my business, this affects every area of my life. By taking responsibility (not blame) for my actions, educating myself as much as possible about ADHD, & seeking help. I am able to come to terms with what I believe to be some certain facts of my life. ADHD is a not something that can be cured, ADHD is not a disease or a problem, it is a unique part of me & my family, ADHD is a part of my family dynamic, as such the entire family will be involved in the “recovery” process. I am not in this alone, I cannot get past it alone, and so I must seek help. Experience has taught me when I need help to seek out others who have had similar experiences, have dealt with them & find out what they did. As I mentioned in another post, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have found it very helpful to apply the 12 step program to the ADHD issues (it was recommended in one of the books I am reading) I would recommend to anyone with ADHD to try to find a 12 step group that you can relate to what the members are talking about, the cause of the issue may be different, the cause of the issue may be different, but the issue itself and the affects may be very similar. I realize I need a support system, I also know it is up to me to seek it out. The last thing I want to share is this, the most important to me. I will never be cured, If I look for progress, not perfection, I can & do have a happy productive life, if I expect too much to fast, I will be miserable. I hope this helps; it has been my experience.

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