Impulsive decisions (avoiding them?)

[Anonymous]

Does any one have any tips on how to avoid making impulsive decisions? I see how that has been a shortcoming of mine for most of my life. While looking back over the past few months even, I see where when I am stressed over something, (whatever it might be) is when I make the most impulsive decisions. Grasping at straws you might say, looking for a solution to the problem. Most of the time it makes the problem worse.

REPORT ABUSE

[trashman]

Iam there, In same boat. If I think someone or something is in some way threatning me or at least I think that way , I get very impulsive. it seams that no matter what I do that id a defence that I go to every time and then I go on the attack. it s like stoping is not a option for me , when I feel tat way I always end up with saying someone can burn a bridge with me then i’ll take the piers out of the water. at that point when I start acessing the damage it’s far to lake and way out of control and no turnning back. sad but true. I have become my worst enemy. I have given up or lost some very good jobs because of this. so how does one stop thinking with there emotions and start using there head I don’t know , but for me if I could master that I could be someone else. after all that time and my rant here’s my tip. I am trying to get myself to talk to my wife befor I act or respond to any of my thoughts. I am trying to let her become the voice of resan in my life. I don’t know if it will work I have only started with tis . I will let you know how it works out.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

One of the things that has helped me is to “DON’T ACT ON MY FIRST THAUGHT”, with big decisions that’s not too hard & has made a difference, it is the little decisions that are really messing things up, the ones that at the time seem so insignificant, then later I realize, That was impulsive and was not what I should be doing.

Maybe I need to help to recognize an impulsive decision before I make it? It seems like the little things really add up to make a big thing. I am not sure I am making since, It is sometimes very difficult to put these issues into words, That I am sure many others can relate to.

I am just started on this journey of learning how to cope with ADHD, my own as well as my children’s, Please bare with me if I ask silly questions & have trouble expressing myself at times.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Trashman & ADHDornuts and anyone else whom would like to chime in………… Questions to you if I may….I am just gonna throw them out there. To be fair with my answers following them as both of you seem to have many of the same concerns I do. Why the questions? i guess I am still trying to understand and gain knowledge of ADHD and become educated that I am not the only one. Funny I think this would be a more excepted disorder if there was a physical marker attribute associated with it like a dark blue nose. I bet society would then recognize it and the economic barriers in getting proper treatment for all would be removed as even the wealthy’s nose would be exposed for all the world to see……………..

May I ask either of you if you are taking any Meds? I am not yet, but I am seeking a Dr now to get them. Do you have children that have been diagnosed with or you suspect may have ADHD?. I have one for sure and I believe two others are.

Also may I ask your approximate ages and when you were diagnosed with ADHD? 45 for me and during second divorce I realized that I had issues when I went back to school and started talking to a disability and employment counselors about the difficulties I had gone through in the past… Do either of you have a plan or course of action to deal with and conquer this “Syndrome” and your specific needs? I am in the infancy stages believe it or not. I finally feel some relief in knowing more about this ADHD thing and the issues I have been going through may actually have a scientific and physical source as opposed to being just not trying hard enough and being lazy. Funny lazy…please I used to run circles around everyone physically it was my impulsive decision making process that was the huge issue. I just did not seek out great mentors…

A huge hurdle for me is I have to make amends to so many people I have harmed up to this point in my life due to my impulsiveness (No I did not shoot anyone) Financial issues mostly. It is a strong desire (thank goodness as I feel I have some morality in me) . I am trying to put a plan together on how to do it but it is difficult because it involves family and friends although I need to make amends to all. I have never done drugs although I had used alcohol socially 1-3 drinks a week maybe up until 2 years ago and pretty much stopped then as I never could handle alcohol and It never gave me a rush in fact it made me lethargic combined with a huge headache shortly after consuming it.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

REPORT ABUSE

[trashman]

hi njadd. lets see if I ca anser some if not all of your quiestions if I can . I only found out about the term adhd back in june . this intell I received from a person at the learning disabilitys group here in winnipeg all I have to say is very helpfull. Iam 48 years on this earth, having said that I have wasted a lot of them. I have one son who is in the middle of gettig tested, I think so. my second son I think is also ,but one is the more notesable of the two,so thats where we start. now going on to do I have a plan the anser is no , but I have just recieved funding through E.I to go and take a program through the learning disabilitys asscioation of manitoba. I keep losing my jobs so e.i is hoping they can help me with a plan they do all the couching and help find your intrests. I hope it works . I might not be very smart but when i find something that gets my intrest i jump in with both feet. I give 110%. they only thing I need is to feel that I hve vaue and that they feel I an wanted and liked. I dont now if there is such a place out there like that . I now I am my bigest problem when I get bored or think they are mad at me or think they dont like me. the lat things I think you want to know is about my meds ok first I take 375mg venlafaxine ady with 72mg of the generic concerta in the am then about five hrours latter i take another dose of 36mg of the generic concerta. it seems the older i get the more depresed i get i think it is because i see the hope of sucsess faling away. i have tried many diffierent ventues with no sucsess. i also have let people down some of it my fault so of it not. the only thing that i know is that i have to try get control some how of my life. i woulg like to some how prove to me and every oneelse that knows me that i am not lazy , stupid or crazy. thats hard to prove when i am starting to beleve it myself. I have agrde 8 education and L D in reading , selling visual spacual what ever that is and adhd and acording to the test a IQ of 86. so one of my strengths are my abillitiys to talk . I scored very high in that test. now to anser the last question if i was not on these meds there would be no way I could sit and very slowly typ this out and I don’t get as upset when I make mastakes I used to just give up . but now I no tat my spelling is wrong and i really have no clue about sentence struture, i just keep typing and hope I lean byreading all the post and puting in my two cents in for what its worth. i know its worth 2 cents . ha ha . and yes i have a odd sense of humer. I how that helps , sorry for the rants and the along about way it is writtin.

thanks trashman.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

njadd….. Yes I am on meds, that has been very helpful, partly because my primary care doctor, is always willing to listen to me & work with me to find the best dosage for me, what works & what doesn’t. I have 2 children on meds for ADHD & a 2 year showing all the signs he may have this syndrome. I was 48 when diagnosed, how I found out, was after having 2 children diagnosed from different marriages, and finding that ADHD is genetic, I did not take an expert to tell me where it came from. It still has taken me 2 years to really start seeking to educate myself, Why? It seems that I do not try to make changes in my life until the pain of being where I am at is great enough to motivate me. The pain came for me when my marriage was about to fall completely apart. My wife & I have always had a problem communicating with each other as our marriage went on the problem got worse. When I discovered that with ADD there are communication issues that we had both not understood, we found that by discussing them we found a solution to that problem, our marriage improved dramatically in a matter of days, we are still planning on seeing a marriage counselor, if we feel this consoler is not helping, we will seek another avenue for help, we saw a marriage counselor once before, That one did not listen to what we were saying, & did not ever identify the problem, so could not help. Do I have a plan? Yes, First I have changed my attitude about ADHD, For me, ADHD is not a problem, it is part of me that can create problems or issues in my life and the lives of my family and friends if I remain ignorant about, I must learn to recognize what I can change & what I cannot, what are the things I do that compound the problems, (such as impulsive decisions),ADHD has been & can be a tremendous asset to me; what do I do that is an asset to me, (I am creative in many ways), In short I need to take an honest inventory of my life to I identify my own strengths & weaknesses. I have also had to accept this is not just about me, or my daughters ADHD, this is about my family, my friends, my business, this affects every area of my life. By taking responsibility (not blame) for my actions, educating myself as much as possible about ADHD, & seeking help. I am able to come to terms with what I believe to be some certain facts of my life. ADHD is a not something that can be cured, ADHD is not a disease or a problem, it is a unique part of me & my family, ADHD is a part of my family dynamic, as such the entire family will be involved in the “recovery” process. I am not in this alone, I cannot get past it alone, and so I must seek help. Experience has taught me when I need help to seek out others who have had similar experiences, have dealt with them & find out what they did. As I mentioned in another post, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have found it very helpful to apply the 12 step program to the ADHD issues (it was recommended in one of the books I am reading) I would recommend to anyone with ADHD to try to find a 12 step group that you can relate to what the members are talking about, the cause of the issue may be different, the cause of the issue may be different, but the issue itself and the affects may be very similar. I realize I need a support system, I also know it is up to me to seek it out. The last thing I want to share is this, the most important to me. I will never be cured, If I look for progress, not perfection, I can & do have a happy productive life, if I expect too much to fast, I will be miserable. I hope this helps; it has been my experience.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Thanks to both of you

I hope we may keep in touch as three heads are ADHD better than one!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I feel I must interject one more very important point here, I love this site and all the great information I recieve from it. It has been great finding others I can relate to here. But I know that this site and the forums are not enough for me, I need flesh and blood poeple to talk to, even if they don’t have ADD or ADHD or any other syndrom. What is importtant is that I have poeple who will listen without judgement, will share their life exsperiances with me openly & honestly, I often find that when I am talking to some one in this manner, regardles of who it may be, I find what I need was inside of me, I just needed time to verbalize it and allow it to become real rather than buried in my mind somewhere. It can be kind of scsry to try to talk to some one about this, but I have found my freinds (real freinds) Do care about me & do want to help, even if they do not know how, so I tell them, just honestly tell me; what would you do or what you have done in similer sircumstances, What they say may not work for me, but I get a different perspective, which is always helpful. So I highly recomend talking to others about this face to face, I don’t think it takes long to figure out who really is a freind & who wants to hang around for what they can get out of the freindship.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Great points ADHDORNUTS

This site should be just a piece of the puzzle

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts