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Re: Is it just me… Weird phobias.

Re: Is it just me… Weird phobias.2012-10-31T22:18:52+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? Is it just me… Weird phobias. Re: Is it just me… Weird phobias.

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allan wallace
Member
Post count: 478

Hmmm, lots of weird phobias…

I loathe shopping with a passion. I detest waiting in long queues, and I cannot bear being surrounded by a seething mass of people. I don’t really know what a ‘panic attack’ is but maybe I had one. It was a xmas eve, and I had gone to a supermarket with my kids to get some supplies for a xmas lunch etc. Before I’d even filled the trolley I was becoming increasingly flustered, but when I lined up with the other trolleys I could scarcely breathe, my face was bright red through anger and frustration, and I started grumbling aloud about woolly headed stampedes etc. After a few minutes I just rasped a loud ‘fuck this, let’s get out of this rancid hell’ to my kids, and the trolley was abandoned as I almost ran for fresh air outside….

I avoid public loos, and swimming pools. The thought of swimming in other people’s urine holds nil appeal. I don’t like being near creepy leering men in speedo trunks either, particularly bald, fat hairy backed ones. I don’t like crowds, can’t stand traffic jams, and I don’t like going to restaurants. I don’t like waiting for a meal, and I don’t like masticating upon morsels in front of complete strangers either, nor do I relish being near enough to other diners that I might be inflicted with their banalities…

Spiders. Sheesh, where do I start? These creatures are horror movies. I was worse as a kid, even if a harmless daddy long legs was in a room, that was enough to keep me from entering said room. I would rather call Mike Tyson a chickenshit wimpy nigger to his face than pick up a daddy long legs…most insects scare me. Cockroaches make my stomach turn. Moths scare me. Stick Insects are grotesque assemblies of vile atoms. In fact, the only insects that I’m very fond of are butterflies and ladybird’s. To the bewilderment of some spectators I ran the risk of being charged with ‘attempted escape’ when I rescued a ladybird from drowning once when I was briefly ‘banged up’ in the early 90’s….when I gently blew upon her as she lay lifeless in my fingertips the exhiliration that I felt as she began to stir reduced me to tears! She survived!

I have a terror of needles as well. It takes a lot of dtermination for me to sit quietly whenever I need a blood test, or get a jab. Under no circumstances will I watch the needle pierce my skin, and I cannot watch those revolting medical shows which show even minor operations. Heck, I couldn’t even watch my kids being born. I’d rather not even think about that stuff, never mind bloody well watch it! I reckon that I’d run the risk of drowning in my own vomit after I’d fainted….’water’s broke’? ‘What the hell does that mean?’ I’d be thinking as the blood drained my face….no thanks, I’d rather remain blissfully ignorant. As for the opposite, Ye Gods. One time in the mid 90’s I went as far as going to a Funeral Parlour for a job interview. The Lady that owned the parlour and I had flirted whilst conversing a few times, and we’d struck up some kind of rapport. She’d told me that I’d be a terrific asset to her company and that she’d like to formally interview me etc. and to show me around….I turned up on the appointed day and was enjoying the flirting, but then she began to un-nerve me. I told her that I hadn’t ever seen a dead person before, but that I had uncles in Scotland that were undertakers, and they’d told me that one just has to do what one has to do, and that it was a rewarding career….then she opened the door to a ‘cold room’ and she paused. I only saw the end of a stainless steel trolley and I froze. She saw that hesitation, and decided not to take me into the room, something for which I’ll be eternally grateful, for I’m sure that my curiosity would have made me have just a quick peep, whereupon I would undoubtedly have fainted on the spot, and perhaps hit my head on something steel and perhaps ended up on a trolley next to the lifeless form that had caused my collapse! I got the hell out of there and apologised for wasting her time….

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