Re: JUST got hired, JUST got medicated, JUST got PREGNANT?!?!?!

[Anonymous]

Update: i wish i coukda known i was gonna miscarry cuz then i coulda kept taking my welbutrin jnowing it wouldnt affect the outxome. I thought i was doing better but im a wreck. I really wish i hadnt taken it so inconsistently before i was pregnant and furthermore that i had takin it while pregnant. Ive since alienated myself from most. Those who were there are being sxared off one by one and i dont blame them. Thay father of my angel was so great with me and my grief at first but ive since made it impossible for him so he has had to seperate himself from me to preserve his own heart and to preserve our relationship. And i just snapoed at my older sister so bad bad that she hasnt txted me back n i know its cuz shes home crying…i can probably count one one hand the amount of times this girl has ever cried…even my mothersaid that she really only remebera her crying once in her first year of life, whining yes but she never cried n everybody knew it. So that one time she did cry everyone freaked out. This is the girl who is xurrentky sitting home crying. I kno it. I can feel it. Shes my sister. Im hurting the few pop l that i have that can be that rock to support me n make me feel better. N the worst part is, even tho i hate myself for feeling this way, i slightly feel a tinge of satisfaction at the fact that i am making it so that i am not the only one hurt. Ive never been like this. Thru all my jacked up life ivw never been the kind to hurt others amd furthermore enjoy it. Im the girl that allows her rapist to have his way because she unserstands that there is something wrong in his mind…and then afterward feela sorry for him for having such a horrible mind, conpletely forgetting that i myself was just raped. (true story) …

And i cannot deny…this is why i am not allowed my child. Im too unstable. Dear welbutrin, when wilk u kick in? Why is it that medication to take the pain away can kick in within seconds but medication to take the hurt away take so long…if they ever kick in at all…

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