Re: Life is worse than ever since being diagnosed. What do I do?

[Patte Rosebank]

Glen, don’t think, “I’m going to be fired anyway,” and just roll over and take it. Don’t be aggressive; be assertive. This situation can really energize you.

Be prepared to advocate, and even fight for your rights. And though you may have doubts along the way (and perhaps get a little weepy when you hear songs like “The Impossible Dream”), choose to take action instead. You’ll have a purpose, and by fighting for your own rights, you’re preparing your self to fight for the rights of others. You’ll have research to do. You’ll have to keep a journal of everything that happens on the job—especially “what I said”, “what they said”, in unpleasant situations. Write these notes as soon as possible after the situations so you’ll remember every detail, but keep that journal on your person at all times, and don’t let others know about it. That’s what I had to do.

Twelve years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. At the time, I was working as a programmer at an IT firm, and I’d been transferred to a new boss who knew all about computers, but had no people skills whatsoever. He was a bully and a brute, who had a “TCB” (“taking care of business”) coffee mug, which served as a warning that he was a classic Type-A. (Just do the job and spare me the excuses.) He’d spring meetings on me when I was wrapped up in other things. He’d micromanage. He refused to accept that I had a disability—or as I considered it, a handicap, since I could still do things, but it was a lot harder for me to do them. And when my mother was in the ICU, waiting for an emergency triple-bypass (and you can imagine the state of mind I was in over that), that bully just dismissed it with, “Oh, she’ll be fine.” He didn’t have a flippant answer, though, when I pointed out that she’d just gone through breast cancer the year before, so her system was already weakened.

A couple of months later, this bully cooked up a very negative quarterly review for me, which said, among other things, “Basic logical concepts appear to be beyond her limited capabilties”. (Note that he misspelled “capabilities”. A further irony is that I was shortly thereafter determined to be in the 93rd percentile for intelligence—just slightly below MENSA—even though I was under so much stress and anxiety. So much for “limited capabilities”.) As all my prior reviews had been positive, this one not only didn’t make sense, but was a total slap in the face, especially since he used it to justify immediately terminating me, and having me frog-marched out of the building.

The following week, when I returned at the appointed time to clear out my desk, the HR person (who was actually a human being) who accompanied me, asked if I’d like to be alone. I replied with an icy, “No, you’d better stay here. I wouldn’t want to be accused of stealing anything.” She looked rather shocked that I would think the company would stoop to that. (Good. I’d got a little of my own back.)

As I’d disclosed my disability several times, I had grounds for filing a Human Rights complaint. It dragged on for 3 years, during which, the company used the services of not its regular law firm, but a law firm very well known for viciously aggressive tactics. They responded to my complaint by trying a little character assassination, and claiming that the company was completely unaware of my “alleged disability”. But as I had taken the precaution of getting copies of everything in my personnel file before I was fired (something you should do too, since you’re legally allowed to), I had a “smoking gun”: his notes on me, which included a couple of references to the fact that my performance had improved when I’d started on antidepressant medication. When the Commission pointed out this little gem to the company’s lawyers, the company offered me a settlement ten times greater than the one they’d offered me when they’d fired me. Unfortunately, I’d racked up so many expenses related to my diagnosis and treatment, that the settlement was wiped out as soon as I got it. Still, I’d fought a long fight for what I knew to be right, and I’d won. (And I still get weepy when I hear “The Impossible Dream”.)

I later found out that this bully had done the same “bullying followed by negative review and immediate termination” thing to others at the company (particularly “ethnic” employees), so he was responsible for numerous Human Rights and Employment Standards complaints. And yet, they promoted him. So much for all their touchy-feely BS about valuing their employees.

The topper is that, a few years ago, I heard that the bully had died of a massive heart attack on New Year’s Day. He was only 55, and nearly everyone who’d ever worked for him was glad to see the end of him. It was Scrooge’s vision of Christmas-Yet-to-Come, in real life. And dying like that, making so many people in the world so happy that you’re out of it, is the absolute worst way to die.

And all of us that he bullied are still here!

Fight the fight, Glen!

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