The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › I'm Sad › Loneliness › Re: Loneliness
@BlackADDer, (hugs—lots & lots of them).
I truly understand why you feel so overwhelmed and broken. You have had so many bad things happen to you at once, that all you can see around you is darkness and pain. Please take some comfort in knowing that what you’re feeling is completely normal, considering all that’s happened to you. In fact, if you didn’t feel that way, I’d be even more worried for you than I already am.
There’s a list of the things that cause the greatest stress, anxiety, and depression in a person’s life In a matter of days, you’ve been hit with all of the Top 5, some of them multiple times. Getting hit with even one of them is something that many people need professional help to get through. You can do so many things on your own, but not all at once. You are NOT helpless. You just need more help than you can give yourself right now.
Please, get that help NOW. This is an emergency, CRISIS situation.
Tell your family how you are feeling. Please don’t think that you have to bear all this alone, because you don’t want to add to their burden of mourning your brother. The possibility of losing you too, without having a chance to help you, would hurt them far more. They may even be feeling the same way as you’re feeling right now.
Since this is a crisis, you need to get IMMEDIATE help.
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Here’s what to do NOW:
If you are having overwhelming thoughts of suicide, call 911 immediately.
If you are in the Toronto area, call Distress Centres, at (416) 408-4357. Their phones are staffed by professional counsellors. Other areas may have their own Distress Centres. Check the Emergency numbers in the front of your phone book.
Go to the Emergency department of any hospital with a Psychiatric department.
If you are in the Toronto area, you can go to the CAMH Emergency department, at 250 College St. (just east of Spadina), for an immediate assessment, counselling, and treatment.
Here’s the link to CAMH’s Crisis information page: http://www.camh.net/Care_Treatment/Resources_clients_families_friends/Challenges_and_Choices/challenges_choices_inemergcrisis.html
You should also read this page about your legal rights in a mental health crisis: http://www.camh.net/Care_Treatment/Resources_clients_families_friends/Challenges_and_Choices/challenges_choices_rights.html
Those are the most important things you must do NOW. AFTER you’ve done them, then you can deal with the other things.
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How to deal with the loss of health income:
Did you have legal advice when you made your appeal? Often, it really helps to have a lawyer on your side. Contact Legal Aid for free advice. Ask to speak with a lawyer who specializes in disabilities and/or government matters.
The one “silver lining” to the hip replacement and cancer scare, is that these might be grounds to re-instate your health income, and perhaps your access to transportation. Discuss this with the government office responsible, and with the Legal Aid lawyer.
You could also contact your province’s Ombudsman (assuming you’re in Canada). If the Ombudsman feels that you have been unfairly treated, he/she will intervene on your behalf. He/she may even order your health income immediately re-instated.
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How to deal with the school situation:
Contact Student Services and make an appointment to discuss your situation. It is not “giving up” to say, “I can’t do this right now. I need some time to recover.” At this time, it would be unreasonable to expect you to keep up with coursework, or even to absorb a lecture.
Bring medical documentation to support your reasons for needing special consideration. Student Services can, and will, help you. This may mean meetings & study time with your profs or TAs, to catch up on what you’ve missed, or it could mean postponing your studies for a semester or even a year.
Again, this doesn’t mean you’re helpless. It just means you need more help than you can give yourself right now. The key words are “right now”. In time, things will get better.
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Above all, BlackADDer, remember two things:
1) There are so many people who care about you and want to help you. Even people like us who have only ever met you in this Forum. And professional helpers who haven’t met you yet. You don’t have to go through this alone.
2) No matter how painful and overwhelming things are right now, they WILL get better for you, in time, and with help.
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One more thing that may comfort you: Today’s Blog posting from Rick looks like it was written just for you: http://totallyadd.com/knocked-flat/
Maybe it was.
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