Re: Need advice for an out of control totally ADD Family

[Anonymous]

ABC Mama – hang in there! (And JayBird, it sounds like you would make a great coach!)

I agree that structures, routines, and a sense of humour go a very long way in dealing with an ADD family, and good communication is especially important. If you’re having problems getting them in place, it may be worth getting in touch with a family counselling service in your area for a couple of sessions so that you can get an “outside” view and a fresh starting point for all of you.

I don’t know where you’re from, but you could check with a family doctor, or even the guidance counsellors at your kids’ school for resources in your community.

Regardless of the reasons, divorce is a difficult enough transition on its own; changes in the family dynamic affect everyone involved, and in different ways. (And, no, there is no “easy” divorce.)

It can be challenging for all involved to introduce a new routine; kids can (and will) put up resistance and if you’re the one doing the introducing, you can suddenly become the “bad” guy, adding extra stress to an already stressed environment. If the changes are introduced by an outside source (counsellor), then you get to deflect some of the perceived blame to them. (“Hey, guys, I know this is a new idea for all of us, but XYZ wants us to try it out see how it works.”)

They say that it takes a few weeks before a change becomes “routine” – the tough part is hanging in there for the few weeks!

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