Re: Now I'm just mad

[Zandra]

I certainly have some co-morbidities. I’ve been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder for pretty much my entire adult life. I believe that some of the symptoms that have always been attributed to the MDD may actually stem from the ADD, and I suppose I was hoping that it might be a higher percentage than it may actually be, since I’ve only had moderate improvement from anti-depressants. The anti-depressants helped a lot with the mood aspects, but I was still losing a lot of time to random napping and inability to focus.

I suppose that some kind of therapy is in order, even though a part of me thinks that I should be able to reason through it without assistance.

Ipsofacto (great name!), I hear what you are saying about mindfulness. It’s strange, but what I now recognize as coping methods that have developed over a lifetime, seem to now be absent, or less effective. I sometimes feel like the meds make me more alert, but seriously compromise my short term memory. I suspect my spouse is ready to kill me, because I have lost checks, money, keys to things, pretty much anything important. I often lose track of what day it is, causing me to miss things. I skipped class the other night solely because I forgot. In a program with attendance requirements, that’s pretty sketchy.

I try to keep the schedule stuff under control using devices with alerts and reminders, but I sometimes miss them, and nothing’s going to help if I don’t actually enter an appointment right at the time I make it. During the conversation, I feel like that particular event, whatever it may be, is so important that I OBVIOUSLY won’t forget about it, or that I’ll enter it into my calendar later, when I have some time. Oddly, I either never get that time, or if I do, I’ve long since forgotten whatever it is that I had agreed to do. As I’m writing this, it seems to me that the devices may be an attempt to replace mindfulness, since that isn’t a skill set of mine, apparently. Maybe there’s a way to use both.

I’m not really mad anymore today, but thanks for taking on my little rant. I’m a work in progress.

REPORT ABUSE