Re: Organization and Time Management HELP!

[Lindstr7]

Idoeno,

Good for you for having the wisdom and courage to just do it and not ask anyone “should I”? Again, its taking small steps towards making change that is the most effective and lasting. Plant that first foot on the ground, then the second foot. EVERYONE makes mistakes., you probably are hyper-sensitive to your own.

I have to say, your story sounds very similar to mine in that I always had people do things for me: Siblings (I was the youngest), friends, boyfriends, husband. It worked until, well my husband got tired of it and asked for a divorce. I was paralyzed and freaked out, cried every day, raged at him and others, thought of suicide (but I could never leave my child motherless since I grew up without a mother). Then, I was forced out into the big scary world on my own (although I’m still getting support from him and not quite functional enough to get out and get a job, although if I were forced to I would have to go out and deal with my dysfunction in the “real world” yikes!) So, I think that your getting a handle on things now while you are in a supportive relationship will help you prepare for if/when you find yourself on your own. I think the uncertainty of “what might happen” can be paralyzing too (well, for me I KNOW it is). I understand why you are afraid, any change can be frightening, but you are making steps to make yourself into the person you know you WANT to be. I am too. I found that I can’t always keep comparing myself to where others are and beat myself up for having wasted so many years of my life doing NOTHING productive and just spinning my wheels. For years I hid in my house, smoked pot, hid from friends, made excuses, ducked n’ dived. Well, the pot I realized was only making me fat and unmotivated and I thought to myself, I’ve got to do this for me aAND most especially my child.

So, long story longer (sorry), I finally did go to the doctor yesterday and got a 30 day prescription for ritalin. Today will be the first day taking the full dosage, so I won’t know if its helping for a few days probably. I don’t know where you live (I live in US, WA state) and I have decent health insurance. I told my doc I wanted to discuss ADD. Listen, your doctor knows (or should know) about this condition as more and more people are discovering they have it and pharmaceutical companies are climbing over each other to get the latest med on the market….why?….because its a product in great demand. You are most definitely NOT alone in this. I want to encourage you to make an appointment and keep it. Think ahead about what you want to ask and say and write it down. They will likely ask you a series of questions or give you a survey to fill out and take it from there. My next step is to be evaluated in their “Behavioral Health” dept. to be evaluated. If you have insurance, I would get thee to the telephone and make that appointment. If you write things down ahead of time before you go, you can always refer to your “cheat sheet”. Be brave and strong and you’ll be so proud of yourself for taking such a big step. Then, instead of “Idoeno” you’ll be “I did it”! Finally, yes, I thought I was depressed and am on Celexa for that but now I’m not so sure I’m depressed or maybe I’m depressed because my ADD made me dysfunctional. They will try to determine of you are depressed or if you have ADD or both as they, according to my doctor, can sometimes overlap. Try not to think of yourself as “separate” from everyone else. Like my doctor said, “there is no normal.” Sorry to go on so long and please stay in touch here, people have been great.

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